Pawns – Friday Fictioneers, October 2018

Copyright Jeffery Arnold

 

He wanted us to love her, his black queen… but we were all loved out, and besides the white queen wouldn’t stop crying.

“Fey,” said Father, holding his lover up to the light, like a fine wine.

Weird, we thought, wriggling uncomfortably.  But she was beautiful, and deeply loved… which seemed to render us less so.

Years later, after she’d made her final move, our father shambled unconsolably around the chequered residue of his life.  He needed us to mourn her…  so we respectfully dissembled our grief.

The black queen was gone.

And still the white queen wouldn’t stop crying.

 Such a beautiful photograph today!  Thanks to Rochelle for leading the Friday Fictioneers out on our Hallowe’en jaunt once again. 

About Sandra

I used to cruise the French waterways with my husband four or five months a year, and wrote fiction and poetry. Now I live on the beautiful Dorset coast, enjoying the luxury of being able to have a cat, cultivating an extensive garden and getting involved in the community. I still write fiction, but only when the spirit moves me - which isn't as often as before. I love animals, F1 motor racing, French bread and my husband, though not necessarily in that order.
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96 Responses to Pawns – Friday Fictioneers, October 2018

  1. Dale says:

    You, Madam, are quite brilliant.
    Love this.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. jillyfunnell says:

    Wonderful, so clever, Sandra. And I can imagine the white queen would never stop crying, Jilly.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. neilmacdon says:

    This story will stay with me during the day. Brilliantly done

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Iain Kelly says:

    Quite wonderful Sandra, the whole family mere pawns to the king. Expertly done.

    Like

  5. ceayr says:

    Even by your elite standards, Sandra, this is astounding.
    Maybe the best 100-word-story I have ever read.

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Varad says:

    The chess board is the perfect metaphor for the family. Fantastic work, Sandra.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Dear Sandra,

    Beautiful and almost poetic. You’ve always shown me how it’s done. This story is no exception. Families.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Sandra says:

    Families indeed! 🙂 And thank you for your lovely comment. I’ve learned a lot from you.

    Like

  9. michael1148humphris says:

    Such a great start to this week’s flash, you have set the bar high.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. granonine says:

    A brilliant and beautiful take.

    Like

  11. This left me breathless and on the verge of tears. This beauty is beyond words.

    Like

  12. Goodness! That was beautifully done, Sandra.

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

    Like

  13. Superb story. I like the meter of the lines, the tense sentiment, and the brilliant ending. Well done.

    Like

    • Sandra says:

      Metre is important to me, I’ll frequently hunt for a word with more or less syllables to balance out the rhythm of a piece. I was dissatisfied (and still am) with the last sentence of the third para, which needed to read “…which only served to render us less so”. But that would have put me two words over, and I didn’t want to change any others. 😉 Thanks for reading, I’m glad you liked it.

      Liked by 2 people

  14. This is like poetry… a wonderful story, not less so when the line about the white queen crying was repeated… and yes meter is important to me also.

    Like

  15. Anita says:

    Meaningful. Seems real.
    True for the white queens of the world…
    Hope the tears of the white queens stop.
    Have a great week!
    Queen In Quicksand – Anita

    Like

  16. Abhijit Ray says:

    The white queen always cried, they might as well have loved the black queen. Nice plot.

    Like

  17. pennygadd51 says:

    Wow. Words fail me. That is outstanding, Sandra. Emotionally discerning and poetic. You’ve distilled the bare bones of a novel into a Drabble, without losing the subtlety. Kudos!

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Jelli says:

    Ohhh, I love the weave of this tale, the checker pattern and play. Perfect! 🙂 ❤

    Like

  19. You, my dear, are a superstar! (Everyone else has said it all.) Love this.

    Like

  20. JS Brand says:

    I’m late to the party, so it’s all been said. Lovely writing Sandra.

    Like

  21. James McEwan says:

    I enjoyed this, ‘the chequered residue of his life,’ such summary in a few words.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. 4963andypop says:

    Beautiful piece. The pain of children when they asked to switch or st least share allegiances. So puzzling from their point of view.

    Like

  23. We are not worthy. I feel for everyone here. Great story.

    Like

  24. Brilliant and haunting. Loved it.

    Like

  25. draliman says:

    Nice, many of us end up pawns in someone else’s life to some extent.

    Like

  26. You have excelled yourself this week Sandra. Yours is the first story I’ve read this week and you’ve set the bar very high indeed!

    Click to read my FriFic tale!

    Like

  27. Russell says:

    A powerful story Sandra! Very well written!

    Like

  28. mjlstories says:

    Brilliant! Love the ‘chequered residue of his life.’ Great stuff.

    Like

  29. Priya says:

    Absolutely brilliant. love the line ‘chequered residue of his life’. Kudos!

    Like

  30. A beautifully poetic piece describing the complexities of a family. You write so brilliantly. =)

    Like

  31. Liz Young says:

    Such a cleverly constructed story.

    Like

  32. plaridel says:

    great story-telling. i just wished for a happy ending.

    Like

  33. This is beautiful writing, as always for you, Sandra. I’ve missed reading your work. I’ll try to get back to reading it every week now.
    -David

    Like

  34. StuHN says:

    This could easily be a fairy tale, but not one cleaned up by the Grimm’s or Disney.

    Like

  35. Laurie Bell says:

    WOW. This was beautifully captured. Ongoing pain and lies and loss. Well done

    Like

  36. lisarey1990 says:

    Wonderfully creative & detailed. Excellent piece.

    Like

  37. subroto says:

    As always you leave us mere mortals stunned. Beautiful writing, so much conveyed within these 100 words.

    Like

  38. AshleyDannie says:

    Love the imagery!

    Like

  39. the crowd go wild! Great stuff, its all been said; fantastic!

    Like

  40. Piyali says:

    I am the last one to comment therefore I’ll just stick to three words- a wonderful write

    Like

  41. Fabulous! What a way with words.

    Like

  42. magarisa says:

    I love the phrase “chequered residue of his life” (as other commenters have also mentioned). A poetic, poignant piece.

    Like

  43. You make dysfunctional read so beautiful.
    Amazing talent, to do that.

    Like

  44. Great piece, Sandra with brilliant use of chess terminology woven throughout

    Like

  45. Hi Sandra,
    I’m late for the party. Where does the week go?
    It would be futile to repeat was everyone has said. I will add, “Ditto”.
    Outstanding writing, as always.
    Isadora 😎

    Like

  46. Dan Bohn says:

    Beautiful story.

    Like

  47. Lynn Love says:

    This is wonderful, Sandra – moving and mysterious and ever so slightly odd in a good way! Popped by to pass on my heartiest congratulations for your placings in Flash 500 this month. To be shortlisted and get third place too is quite an achievement. And I thought The Sisterhood was wonderful – very real and true and disturbing too. You captured those characters in so few words, but I knew them. Lovely writing

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sandra says:

      Aww thanks Lynn. This was my first comp entry in over 12 months, so it felt good to be shortlisted with both, and then get 3rd with one. Maybe it will encourage me to try to write more – I’ve been sadly uninspired for months now. Thanks again.

      Liked by 1 person

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