Copyright Ted Strutz
After I missed a few payments they started circlin’. Never off the phone… callin’ at the farm… sendin’ letters.
Life was goin’ to hell in a handcart… hens wouldn’t lay, cows dried up, the bull looked like he was gettin’ in touch with his feminine side. And the wife…well, she was givin’ me hell and not much else.
And then he swooped… the bank manager.
Only thing he left me was the beat-up truck, and that just so’s I’d leave quick.
He took the farm, the stock, everythin’.
Even the wife.
Good men, bankers.
Won’t hear a word said against ‘em.
A Friday Fictioneers re-tread from 7 years ago. Not feeling too creative today after tripping yesterday and crashing face first into a wall with my hands full of computer cables. Duh! Rochelle, who has no problems remaining fully grounded, leads the Friday Fictioneers through the opening month of 2019.
castelsarrasin 
Well worth repeating,Sandra. Especially since this was before my time, so it’s new to me. Hope you’re recovered soon
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Thanks Neil. I always feel guilty doing a repeat, but after seven or eight years of FF I figure a significant proportion is new to the current contributors.
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A swooping bank manager, vulture like tendencies essential for the role. Good stuff
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Yes, I have a graphic mental image of a swooping bank manager. Thanks for reading.
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Those dastardly bankers! Loved the dry humour in this, Sandra. Hope you are feeling better.
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Thanks Varad. I’m getting there. 🙂
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I was still laughing aloud when I got to your accident.
You okay now?
Fabulous story, love the bull!
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Thanks CE. I’m better than I was. The hospital checked me over and gave me a leaflet to give to my husband – symptoms to watch out for. Now I’m seriously unnerved, he keeps on peering at me round his laptop.
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I was smiling, untill I got to the trip. It a lovely piece of flash. Did you do a follow up. I saw the farmer winning the Lottery and getting his revenge🙂
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Yes that would indeed be a fine revenge. Thanks for reading Michael.
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Well worth repeating, and hope you make a swift recovery from the fall, Sandra
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Thanks Sue, and for the good wishes. I’m feeling a little better today.
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Good
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Dear Sandra,
First I’m so sorry about your accident. I hope you’re upright and unscathed today. As for your story. Love it…I can only imagine what the bull looks like getting in touch with his feminine side. Brilliant line. And the ending lines…laughing out loud. (As for my remaining upright? Hmmm…that’s often up for debate.)
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks Rochelle. I managed to turn my head to one side as I hit the wall so there are no facial injuries, but a huge lump on my head, bruised shoulder and a temporarily displaced jaw. Difficult to open my mouth but as far as my husband is concerned, that can only be a good thing. 🙂
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Husbands are universal. 😉 Glad it wasn’t any worse.
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All too common back in the thirties. Maybe we’re heading that way again, but I think nowadays they sell the assets to a corporation specializing in collections. It’s even less personal. Great read.
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Many thanks!
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Delightful turn about in the end.. Loved it!
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Thank you, Violet.
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Hope you are recovering Sandra. Enjoyed this, a silver lining to bank managers, who’d have thought it!
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You just have to look hard enough to find it. And thanks Iain, much better.
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First off, so sorry you banged yourself up like that… and I would probably not be thrilled with that pamphlet, either.
Loved your (new-to-me) story and could not help but guffaw at the end! ‘Twould appear all are happy… 😀
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Aww thanks Dale. Glad you liked the story.
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I hope you are feeling better and back to your creative self soon 🙂 I had to snicker at the story. Yep, sometimes it is good to be freed of all obligations.
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A fresh start in progress, I feel. Thanks for your good wishes.
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Hadn’t read this before so am glad you re-posted it! More importantly, I hope you are doing okay and taking time to recover. Faceplants–into floors or walls or anything at all–are no fun.
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Thank you! And no – not a good idea to have your hands full when you take a trip. 🙂
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No, but we’re all guilty of it … So I can VERY MUCH relate … 🙂 Feel better!
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Applause & laughter to Sandra Dangerfield. “Take my wife…please.”
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🙂 Thanks Stu.
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So sorry to hear of your fall. Your story is repossession in a nutshell, tragedy frankly told. I love the bull getting in touch with his feminine side!
This characterr seems none too surprised at the outcome of this story, even at the banker snatching his wife. And I hear a none too faint sarcasm in the last line or two.
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Thank you for reading. Yes, sanguine I think is the word for his attitude.
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Sorry about your fall Sandra, but it resulted in a great story being re-run.Made me laugh!
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Thank you! Glad you liked it.
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Dear Sandra
I’m sorry you had such an unpleasant accident. I hope you recover quickly and completely. This is a great story. You had me laughing out loud. The twist at the end is absolutely perfect!
With very best wishes
Penny
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Thank you Penny for reading, and for yur good wishes
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Well this story is new to me… and I enjoyed every line of it!
Sounds like the farmer is not too upset about losing all that responsibility. I guess farm life (and married life for that matter) isn’t for everyone 🙂
Feel better soon!
-Rachel Bjerke
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Thank you Rachel, and thanks for reading.
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I’m glad you repeated this story because I got to read and enjoy it. Hope you feel better soon.
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Many thanks. And thank you for reading.
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LOL…problem(s) solved, in one fell swoop.
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Exactly so.
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Ha, a great read as usual. Wasn’t here seven years ago, so all fresh to me. Hope you are better now Sandra.
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Many thanks.
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Hi Sandra,
Sorry to hear about your trip, and hope you are recovering well. As you may recall, I punctured a hole in my foot on holidays which required stitches and I’ve just returned from buying the kids uniforms for the New Year and one friend had a bandaged hand from a burn and another a strained ankle. Seems to be the season for accidents.
I loved the twist on the last line in this and is was a fantastic last line too.
I agree with the others. Well worth repeating.
Best wishes,
Rowena
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Glad you enjoyed the story, Rowena. Seems it’s the season for accidents. 🙂
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Sorry to hear about your accident. Glad that you are doing okay.
Nice twist in the end…
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Many thanks.
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Your wife is someone else problem. May be banker will return wife and keep the rest. Nice story.
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Maybe that will be too late. Thanks for reading.
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Sorry to hear about your fall…. the twist in the end made me smile (and I think I might have heard about it)… at the end it might have been worth the price, and with the choice of the wife and a truck it probably made sense.
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Thanks Bjorn. All’s well that ends well.
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An unscrupulous banker…a willing wife… a load of debts… a a load shit of troubles. Amazing story…made me chuckle too. And the wife…well, she was givin’ me hell and not much else.
Glad she left…Super writing Sandra.
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Thank you Neel.
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Oh how I’ve missed your stories, Sandra! You capture this voice, this scene, these “folk” so well. It’s very American, for such an English writer. The “handcart” gives away your accent 😉 but the entire story is pitch perfect.
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Actually you had me googling “hell in a handcart” there to see whether it was another of my ‘near misses’ with words. I see however it can be ‘handbasket, handbag, handcart and bucket’ so I’m reassured. And how lovely it is to see you back, Dawn. You bring a whole new perspective to FriFic.
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You are always in the right seat, Sandra. I’m most familiar with hand basket, but that’s so “American” of me… New perspective indeed, an American’s narrow perspective. It’s good to be back; the stories are wonderful, and the wonderful banter is icing on the proverbial cake… or crumpet… or scone! 😉
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I’m glad you reposted. I also enjoyed the voice and laughed at the ending. I hope you’re feeling well soon. I’ve done the same thing, actually when I was living in Manchester and “somehow” face planted the wall. Take care! 🙂
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Thanks for reading. Yes, it’s a shock, and embarrassing because it was I who had put the chair there, and then tripped over it. The jaw’s okay now, but hair-washing is a bit of a delicate exercise. 🙂
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Ha, fun ending!
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From the Fun Master… 🙂 praise indeed.
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Loved this! What an authentic voice you conjured up!
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Thanks Liz. 🙂
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Luckily I missed this the first time round. Luckily the bank took the wife too. They probably still do things that way. Hi, by the way.
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Hi, seems a long time since we last met. 🙂 Thanks for visiting.
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Moral: Beware of loans & bank-managers.
Poor man!
Car In Cyclone – Anita
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Exactly. 🙂
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Sounds like the poor wife was getting the blame here, and the farmer was grateful to escape.
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I think you’re right.
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Hope you are doing better, Sandra. I wasn’t around for the first run, so I am glad I had the oportunity to enjoy this story.
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Much better thanks. And thanks for reading.
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i appreciate the re-post since i’d not read it before. that said, bankers do get the reputation for being heartless.
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It seems so. Our bank manager once gave us an umbrella as a “thanks for the business” and added with a wink “but if it rains we want it back.” 🙂 This was in Spain, I should add. I don’t see a UK bank manager doing anything like that, or having that dry sense of humour.
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I thoroughly enjoyed the story. But your fall– ouch! Sounds like you hurt yourself quite a bit. I hope you recover quickly and that there is no serious reason for your husband to peer at you around his laptop any longer.
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Thanks for reading. Yes, he’s lost interest now – I’m clearly not going to do anything interesting now. He did say, the morning after, “perhaps I shouldn’t have had a couple of glasses of wine last night, just in case I had to rush you to hospital.” He’s all heart, you know.
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New to me, and very funny! A worthy re-tread, if ever there was one. Hope you’re feeling better soon!
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Thanks Russell, glad you enjoyed it. And I am.
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Ha! Ha! A great voice in this one. Still brilliant after seven years.
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Thank you!
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Great voice, and very funny twist. I hope you recover your equilibrium very quickly.
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Thanks Margaret. And I wish I’d recovered it more quickly at the time. 🙂
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Every cloud and all that, funny tale. Sorry to hear of your fall, hope it’s not too painful Sandra
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Thank you for reading, Michael. Much better now.
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Lol Sandra. Even if I had read this before I would still be smiling and laughing and applauding. 👏
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Thank you, Kelvin. 🙂
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Brilliant story – my kind of humour! Sorry to read about your fall. Hope you get over it soon – often the shock is worse than the physical injury.
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Thanks for reading, Clare, glad you liked it. You’re right, the shock was the worst part. I’m pleased to say though that I carried on, took the Minutes of the meeting I was attending and then took myself off to the MIU for a check-up. The Minutes didn’t make a lot of sense though…. 🙂
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Enjoyed the voice in this one, the downtrodden, resigned tone – and the positive upturn at the end! Wonder how dreadful his wife was, he was so glad to see the back of her. As someone who badly sprained her ankle running for the bus, I sympathise wholeheartedly, Sandra. Hope you feel less shaky soon
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Ankle sprains are truly painful, and it’s almost impossible to maintain a cool exterior when you’ve really wrenched it. No bus is worth that… Thanks for reading Lynn.
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Just pure, stupidity on my part, Sandra. And always a pleasure to read your stories
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Sad – but rings true!
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Thanks Jennifer.
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As someone wisely once said, you gotta accentuate the positive!
Nicely written Sandra
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but the bankers only get the poor, defenseless
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You may have repeated it, but I have not read it, so it’s the first time for me. Loved it, especially the last line – so true!
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lol I guess he was glad to get rid of the wife. I loved the voice and the verbal expressions.
Hope you feel better!
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Oh those bankers! Hope you are feeling better.
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Loved your dialect and the story.
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