Shortly after we entered the room, I understood that part of my life was over.
Like a fox scenting the breeze, she sensed his presence, swiftly leaving my side to prowl amongst the assembled guests.
They found each other within moments. How could they not?
For years afterwards, the rest of us warmed ourselves at the glow of their dancing, flickering passion, implicitly rationalising that nothing so incandescent could be sustained indefinitely.
Later, much later, he apologised.
“We shall share her ashes,” he declared magnanimously, and returned half my wife in a burnished copper urn.
The man was all heart.
The first Friday Fictioneers of February – and after that exercise in alliteration, all that remains is to thank Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for the time she dedicates to leading us out, week after week.
Beautifully dark and obsessive. Perhaps the last line doesn’t match the voice of the rest?
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It was a purposeful attempt to show the breakthrough of bitterness in a man who has been attempting to rationalise the past in a portentous, pontificating and literary manner, Neil. The title was meant to reflect the simmering etc…
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It works, too, Sandra.
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Once again I am struggling to understand how you can hit so hard in so few words.
And, unlike Neil, I love the bitter sardonicism of the last line.
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“Sardonicism”. I love that word. Thanks for your lovely comment, CE.
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I liked the last line. Underneath the veneer he has been holding up for all those years, he is as human as we all are. Now that the mask has slipped, I wonder if he may act on another base instinct. A little pent-up revenge perhaps?
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You’ll never know how I resisted that tendency, Iain… 😉
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I liked the last line, Sandra. Often a change in the tone at the end can unleash a good gut-punch to the readers and this was just that.
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Thanks. Sometimes a piece seems to get too ‘heavy’ and I’m tempted to burst the balloon at the end in a flippant manner. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. But I nearly always feel better for it. 😉
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Always amazing.
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Thank you, Emmy. Glad you liked it.
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brilliant Sandra. Ooo I loved the close!
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Thanks Violet, glad it worked for you.
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Bitter and ironic. Loved this piece, Sandra.
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Many thanks, Jilly.
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I liked this – it had a sting!
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Thanks, Jennifer.
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Imagine haring her ashes!
Sharing is caring. Much conveyed in a few words, Sandra.
The Night of Bonfire – Anita
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Thanks, Anita.
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Dear Sandra,
If I weren’t sitting here swilling coffee in my fuzzy robe I might be standing and applauding. What a guy indeed. Fantastic! Brilliant! Brava! Am I too effusive?
Shalom,
Rochelle
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When I dropped in that last line I had a mental image of you with your coffee and fuzzy robe and thought “uh-uh, wonder if this will be laptop redecoration time again”. Thanks for your lovely comment.
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Fortunately I didn’t have a mouthful or it might have been the end of my keyboard. 😉
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A wonderful tale, and as for the close…inspired!
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Many thanks, Keith.
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Great piece of storytelling here. The irony of the last line really ties it together. What a guy!
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Glad you liked it, Josh.
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Share her ashes? What a gent!
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Manners maketh man, I guess.
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It’s a wonderful take on the prompt. You’ve written it beautifully, concentrating so much into your 100 words. I love the tie-in between the flickering flames of passion and the ashes that remain at the end. The sharing of the ashes suggests that her husband had indeed shared passion with her for at least some of their marriage. Elegant piece, Sandra!
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Thanks, Penny. Glad you liked it.
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So good, Sandra.
What a guy; truly, oh so generous…not a sardonic bone in his body, I’m sure.
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Thanks for reading Dale, glad you liked it.
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Brilliant as always, Sandra.
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Thanks Indira.
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Welcome, dear.
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What a great story you painted, shared ashes indeed.
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You can take altruism just too far, I guess.
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The bitter irony of the last line is perfect… to me there it can also reflect the double defeat of actually love the man behind it… there is a song in Swedish telling a similar story.. “Trubbel” but I think no translation can make it right…
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Thanks for reading, Bjorn. Glad you liked it.
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sarcasm at its best. well done.
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Thank you! 🙂
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Ooh bitter and twisted, which I love, a real triumph!!
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Thank you! 🙂
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The Slow Burn is a wonderful title! Great story! Nan Falkner
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Thank you Nan. Glad you liked it.
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Well, what’s fair is fair … (ahem…)
Well done with this! Very well told and quite powerful in its understated tone. Fab, Sandra!
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Many thanks. 🙂
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I like the title of your story and what a brilliant ending. Let both men make peace!
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Time the simmering rage came to an end, I think.
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Ha ha ha, dark and so much fun as always 🙂
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Thank you!
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There was great chemistry between the two. How did she end up in the urn? What killed her, jealousy or disease?
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Burn out, I guess. Thanks for reading.
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Quite sad. I wonder why we all stick around even when we get hurt!
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Now that really is the question…
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What a nice chap 😉
Almost like he cast a spell over her.
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Obviously didn’t extend to her ex husband though… 🙂
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The POV usage confused me for a moment, but once I got the gist, this story carried all the poignancy, mystery and irony you packed it with. Wonderful use of the prompt, Sandra!
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Thanks for sticking with it, Dawn.
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Your stories are always some of my favorites… sticking with it is never in question. Mad respect for your work, Sandra.
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What a tragic story, made more so that he could see it happening right in front of him, and understood that he was losing her and couldn’t do anything about it. Great use of the symbolism of the image!
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True helplessness, I guess. Thanks for reading.
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I love the whole piece, but that last line: Boom! Perfect.
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Thanks, glad that worked for you! 🙂
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A poignant tale of a man trying to rationalize his heartbreak. I love the sarcasm at the end, it gives a glimpse to how he really felt. I think the wife still cared for him, why else would the man who stole her away acknowledge his right to half her ashes (which is creepy on his part by the way). =) Excellent piece!
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Many thanks, Brenda.
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Beautifully organized, from title to last line. Dark, sad, but it sure sucked me right in 🙂
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Thanks, I’m glad you liked it.
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Sad tale that feels like it should be a Leonard Cohen song. I doubt I’d be able to watch them together, let alone receive her ashes.
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I suppose it has got a “Famous Blue Raincoat” feel to it. “treated my woman to a flake of your life, and when she came back, she was nobody’s wife.” Loved that line.
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I love to read beautifully written, understated stories like this one. Brava!
Ronda
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Thank you, Ronda. I appreciate your comment. And I enjoyed your story too, such a bitter-sweet celebration in store. (I couldn’t work out how to comment on your website – sorry).
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Love the fire and light imagery throughout. The sharing of the ashes is so crass. It makes you wonder whether she made the right choice. And all those people, just looking on while theaffair continued under their noses.
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I guess passion over-rides common sense and judgement. But it makes for an interesting life both for those involved and the on-lookers. Thanks for reading.
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I love the bitter sarcasm in the last line. How sweet of him to share. 🙂
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Awesome read!!
Gone with the Fire
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The cheek of the man – No you burnt her out – you keep her.
there is a sort of illogical acceptance from your character, I loved the sad tone.
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I don’t think she made a good choice if he could make a comment like – would share her ashes! Seriously! Loved your take Sandra, it’s brilliant!
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I love the voice and the idea here. The feelings of the person are put across very realistically. A great read.
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I guess that kind of attraction just can’t be resisted. And it seems to have stood the test of time. A brilliant response to the prompt, as always.
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Wow! That ending, Sandra. So ‘magnanimous’ and yet such a bitter thing to hear as a husband. Just a stunning piece of writing, well constructed and I like the animalistic overtones to a passion that was more instinctive than cerebral
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What a brilliant way to show the impact of infidelity on the lives of the betrayed, I liked the impact of the last line.
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Superb writing, Sandra. The title leads us and I like that since it builds at the end.
Always brilliant …
Isadora 😎
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Wow. Just an excellent write, Sandra. Amazing flow of words.
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Excellent indeed. What an insensitive man to send back half the ashes, what a taunt. The bitterness is palpable throughout.
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Wicked good!
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The title is so apt. Superbly written.
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I liked it. A bit dark… good writing
gramswisewords.blogspot.com
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Well done! I think when I took my hiatus from Friday Fictioneers, that maybe I should have kept up with reading my favorites in the group. You are an accomplished wordsmith and I love your wit.
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