When the motion stops, the problems start.
Winding ribbons of motorways, the lazy curve of a slow-flowing river, the pitch and toss of a turbulent sea. All of these keep the past on the back-boiler, out of sight, yet simmering gently.
But tonight all is still. And the tide of memories returns.
He saw them today. Could have reached out, spoken, touched them. But even from across the jetty he sensed the tentacles of their neediness, coiling, ready to strike, squeezing the liberty from his soul.
His woman, still beautiful, his kids still cute.
And some other guy. Still.
Happy New Year to all Friday Fictioneers, past and present! Now entering my ninth year of participation, so thanks to our leader Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for services rendered to the cause. I’ve a feeling this year is going to be a good one for her. 🙂
Dark, layered, and lyrical. This is one of your best.
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Thank you, Neil. 🙂
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How sad. Common enough. Well done.
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Thank you, Tannille.
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Devastating.
Subtle and superb.
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Many thanks, CE. Great photo.
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Chilling. So many questions.
Did he kill the other man? Maybe the other man killed his family?
Loss of loved ones is really painful. May no one have to go through this…
Have a great 2020!
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No. A simple case of abandonment, I’m afraid. And a degree of regret when someone takes his place. Thanks for reading.
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You have an expressive dark spot somewhere inside that lovely exterior, Sandra!
janet
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🙂 Keeps on leaching out, Janet. Happy New Year to you and Bill. Hope you enjoy your move.
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Love what you evoke here Well done.
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Many thanks. 🙂
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A sense of tragedy both lived and perhaps still to come here, lurking in that last sentence. Great start to the new year 🙂
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Thanks for reading Iain.
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Dear Sandra,
By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes. Wonderfully menacing and well described. re my year…from your mouth to God’s ears. 😉
You’re our reminder that I didn’t create Friday Fictioneers and I’m grateful to she who did. (Madison) You still show the rest of us how it’s done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I feel it in my bones for you, Rochelle. Either that or impending arthritis. 🙂 It’s been a wild ride for the FF, but I can’t stay away.
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Sandra, this was incredibly fabulous.
A lone wolf who had a moment…
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Thanks Dale. Glad you liked it.
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If I had kids with tentacles, I’d drop them off on the other side of the jetty, too. It’s a good thing I’m not attracted to octopuses… anymore.
Seriously, that’s a hefty price for freedom. Far too many are far too willing to pay that price. Beautifully written!
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🙂 Thanks for reading.
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Great atmosphere here, covering a lot of turf.
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Many thanks.
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You’re very welcome.
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I can feel the dark forces pulling at him… the urge to escape and the desperate jealousy… somehow I feel that he has come to a point where either something very bad will happen or he will just slip away (as he has done so many times)
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Yes, it must be difficult to indulge your needs but still miss what you gave up. And to see someone else enjoying it. Thanks for reading, Bjorn.
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What a wonderfully subtle evocation of an abuser. I’d never thought before of an abusive husband seeing his wife and family as needy, and draining too much from him, but now you’ve pointed it out, it seems eminently likely. We all like to be the good guy in our own story, don’t we?
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I didn’t see him as an abuser, just someone who needed his freedom, but feels a degree of regret, particularly when someone else steps into the void he has left. Thanks for reading Penny, and a Happy New Year.
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The problem with getting away is that you take yourself and your memories with you. Nice one!
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Or they just keep catching up with you. Thanks for reading.
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A powerful piece. Maybe it’s best if he just keeps rolling!
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Sounds to me as if he is still enmeshed in those coils to some extent.
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Brilliant story, really touching and emotional! He doesn’t want to be with them but still misses them.
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I loved the first line and it’s certainly true. Memories we wish to forget march to the forefront when we stand still. He’s caught between longing for his family and stubbornly clinging to the choice he made. You superbly create so many layers in very few words!
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Both atmospheric and intriguing. Beautifully written Sandra, but then I expect nothing less from you!!
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poignant. time for him to move on as she did.
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Someone can’t settle down and committ. The sadness, regret and also relief is so well hinted at.
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I bet their happiness is what causes the deepest pain. Great writing–as usual.
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How sad, beautifully evocative, the piece is a triumph
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Yes it is hard to let go. So much behind this story.
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Damn. 😦
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I love the way your story builds, how the ‘pitch and toss’ pauses for for the dramatic ending. I really liked the phrase, squeezing liberty from his soul. Great story.
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Looks like he is afraid of commitment and the responsibilities that go with it. Almost like a teen!
Great depth!
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