A Stranger Danger – Friday Fictioneers, January 2020

Copyright Naama-Yehuda

Annie tilts her face to the sun.

Her tongue circles the mound of ice-cream, skimming over the softened rim of the cornet.

Waves whisper along the shoreline, seagulls wheel and circle, watching, hovering, calculating.

Then a shadow darkens the sun; a stinging slap falls on her sunburned cheek and knocks the ice-cream from her hand.

She stares at the pink ice-cream pooling at her feet, tears gathering.

And the man who gave her a shilling, telling her he’d look after her baby sister while she bought herself an ice-cream, well… he’s being dragged up the beach by two very angry policemen.

 

A day at the beach sounds idyllic this freezing January morning.  Thanks to Rochelle, for her continued leadership of Friday Fictioneers.

About Sandra

I used to cruise the French waterways with my husband four or five months a year, and wrote fiction and poetry. Now I live on the beautiful Dorset coast, enjoying the luxury of being able to have a cat, cultivating an extensive garden and getting involved in the community. I still write fiction, but only when the spirit moves me - which isn't as often as before. I love animals, F1 motor racing, French bread and my husband, though not necessarily in that order.
This entry was posted in Friday Fictioneers, Just Sayin' and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

54 Responses to A Stranger Danger – Friday Fictioneers, January 2020

  1. neilmacdon says:

    The calculating seagulls nicely foreshadow the danger

    Like

  2. Sue says:

    You are so good at building atmosphere in a few lines….

    Like

  3. Tannille says:

    I enjoy the sunny atmosphere and the contrast of dark happenings.

    Like

  4. Dear Sandra,

    I hope baby sister is okay. You do have a way with a story. I’m guessing Mum is the one delivering the slap to Annie’s sunburned cheek. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Colline says:

    Not a very nice ending to the story – and a highlight of the danger of strangers. Well done!

    Like

  6. ceayr says:

    I still can’t work out how you say so much in so few words.
    This is like a night at the theatre!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Ominous. I like how you move the POV from close to a long shot. Very effective.

    Like

  8. Iain Kelly says:

    Thank goodness the police were on to him, doesn’t bear thinking about…

    Like

  9. granonine says:

    I really can’t add to what everyone else is saying. Remarkable, and I’m glad the evil man is caught before damage is done.

    Like

  10. pennygadd51 says:

    Oh, those deceptive seagulls! You caught my attention with them, and when Annie’s face was slapped I thought “Seagull’s nicked her ice-cream!” But no – you were fooling. I read the last paragraph, and realised what had really been happening. You caught me with the twist, despite having told me what it was in the title! You’re good, Sandra, very good!

    Like

  11. MythRider says:

    There’s an ending I didn’t see coming. Great job.

    Like

  12. It could have been so much worse. Another gem Sandra.

    Like

  13. Yes, another good one. My story is on the light side of “stranger danger.” We were out in the front yard when the girls were little and someone walked by. I said hello and exchanged a few words. After the person had moved on, one of the girls asked if I knew that person. When I said no, she said, “Mom, you talked to a stranger!” 🙂

    janet

    Like

    • Sandra says:

      I had a friend who engaged with everyone, and I mean everyone. I was always amazed she didn’t get into scrapes with her totally open and friendly nature. Thanks for commenting, Janet.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Dale says:

    Brilliantly done, Sandra. Truly. How you put so much into so few words, boggles my brain.

    Like

  15. msjadeli says:

    Men causing mayhem in lives of the innocent. Oh how I wish it were different. Your story is chillingly accurate in the mechanics of these things.

    Like

  16. Oy! I hope baby sister is safe. I hope the adult who did the slapping will apologize for it was them who were truly derelict. Oy … well done in so few words!

    Like

  17. Nobbinmaug says:

    There is nothing more disturbing than violence, even implied, against a child. Well told.

    Like

  18. It’s amazing how you built this story to its unexpected and chilling ending. So glad the police and her mother (I’m guessing) were nearby. What could have happened …

    Like

  19. plaridel says:

    excellent piece. it’s worth reading and reading again. must be the best this week.

    Like

  20. Anita says:

    The baby sis was lucky and thank God she got saved.
    This little girl was lured by ice-cream. Kids need to be explained and must be safe.
    It’s a problem across our world. Where is our world heading?

    Like

  21. draliman says:

    It all started out so well… a lucky escape in the end.

    Like

  22. Liz Young says:

    Poor little girl. Hope her sister didn’t suffer too much damage.

    Like

  23. The shadow darkening the sun set the mood for me vividly, changing an innocent day on the beach into a frightening event. So cleverly done.

    Like

  24. Russell says:

    I could deal with a nice warm beach about now!

    Like

  25. susanmehr says:

    The scene is set and I can feel the eeriness from the beginning and ends with a chilling ending. Stranger danger to the point! Nicely done.

    Like

  26. The part of the ice-cream skimming over the the cornet made me actually want to eat one. It’s a pity that it ended up on the ground though.

    Like

  27. James McEwan says:

    Great turn, from expecting the birds to snatch the cornet – as they always try to do – to the sudden reality of the situation. How could she possibly put ice cream before looking after her sister?

    Like

  28. subroto says:

    Lucky escape for the little sister. Pity about the wasted ice-cream. Excellent writing as always.

    Like

  29. I hope everything turned well in the end…

    Like

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