Copyright Jean L Hays
The men in Cressida’s life are as prone to extravagant gestures as Cressida is to studied understatement.
Thus relationships seldom endure.
But they do say that you never know the true nature of a man until you leave him, so Cressida finds herself mildly curious to establish the content of the tightly-taped and padlocked crate outside her gate.
She nudges it with a neatly-shod toe. There’s resistance.
Her husband’s head perhaps?
Or her lover’s heart…?
Interest waning, she retreats indoors.
In the midday sun, the box shifts slightly.
“Are you there, Cressida?” says a plaintive voice, “please, I beg of you…”
In this world of wokerie, and after due consideration, I opted against calling this “When The Fat Lady Sings” – I wouldn’t want the cancel culture to finish off the job that lockdown has already started. Our anchor of sanity, Rochelle, leads us out into the world of Friday Fictioneer 100 word stories yet again.
castelsarrasin 
Lovely tale. Those given to the occasional extravagant gesture may feel offended.
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Who doesn’t, these days. Thanks for reading.
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Studied understatement vs extravagant gestures. Cressida might survive a lover’s tiff, but perhaps not the zombie apocalypse! Well done.
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Thanks for reading, Trish.
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Appropriate name for her, it should have been a warning to those men. You’ve seen the film ‘Seven’? If you have then that box can only be one thing!
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I just read a synopsis of the plot on Wiki. I’m rather glad I didn’t see that film. :0
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A classic, but only if you like that sort of thing!
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It is a wonderful film…
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That’s what I was thinking too. Something about body parts in boxes… I hope that box is lined…
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Dear Sandra,
I laughed at Iain’s comment because for me the movie “Seven” came to mind also. I hope it’s not her husband’s head in the box. Run, Cressida!
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I wasn’t familiar with the film but sadly, I am now. That may take some forgetting.
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It’s not a film you want to see more than once. My husband and I were both gobsmacked by the ending.
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It was a hellulvan ending…
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Ha, very good!
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Thank you. 🙂
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Creepy Cressida 🙂
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I guess I’m not the only one who finds Cressida somewhat adorable.
I love that her curiosity wanes so quickly, the lady obviously has much on her mind.
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Don’t we all? We ladies are easily distracted you know… 😉
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Masterclass in micro story writing
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Creepy, Sandra. Love it! Similar in feeling to my story this week 🙂
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Thanks for reading, Linda. 🙂
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I was thinking the incredible shrinking man! Well done.
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A little artistic licence on the size of the package, I’m afraid.
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I thought of the body part in the box!
We never know what’s there till we open it!
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Thanks for reading, Anita.
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Her interest may have waned, but If I was passing by and witnessed that I’d be both alarmed and intrigued!
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But maybe not enough to investigate…
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Wonderful story! So funny on so many levels. Well done, Sandra.
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
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Thanks, Susan.
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Very subtle and highly adorable character, this!
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A capricious female, as many of us are.
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Grim, grim humour of the blackest kind. Well written Sandra!
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Thanks, Penny.
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Excellent plus. I noted her “studied understatement.” Fortunately, I am seldom of the extravagant gesture variety of male, at least while sober.
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Better to remain sober then. Expansive and extravagant gestures have a way of backfiring, I find.
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Indeed. Nothing good happens after two pints. 🙂
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Haha. I love this! Talking heads can be an effective literary device after all!
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Thanks, Paula. 🙂
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Somehow I find that midday sun troubling if there’s a body part inside that box. Perhaps there is, perhaps not. You’ve certainly got us all guessing.
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Yes, I think trouble is fermenting under that sun. 🙂
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This is one of those times where I knew the story was going to be good from the first line. And it didn’t disappoint.
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Thank you!
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Well now… I’m thinking if he’s pleading inside the box, he can’t be just a head – maybe a recording device or some sort?. Wonderful writing, as per.
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Thanks for reading Dale. Stay safe.
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I loved those opening lines.You have a definite way with description. As for the box, I imagined a very short Troillus. I would have preferred your original title — it’s American as apple pie, leather jackets and chewing gum. Brilliant work, Sandra!
Five out of five Fat Ladies Singing, four calling birds … three French Horns … etc., etc. (I’m up late, so I’m kind of goofy right now!).
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Was it Jimmy Durante who originated that ‘fat lady sings’ saying?
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Nobody knows who said it, to be honest (it’s been attributed to either announcer Dan Cook in 1978 or sports information director Ralph Carpenter), but it came out of broadcast sports and got VERY popular right away. Yogi Berra, the legendary baseball player, once said something similar, “It ain’t over until it’s over.” Now THAT’S a certainty. 😀 I think Jimmy Durante was long gone before that, although, it sounds like something he would have said.
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Looks like this is one extravagant gesture that has gone a bit wrong!
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One of many, I fear. But probably the last.
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I wish I had met some of these men of extravagant gestures 🙂 Superb story, as usual !
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They can be very wearing, if you’re committed to art of understatement. 🙂
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Good point 😉
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Oh, I’m sure it’s the husband’s head…freshly slaughtered, brain still operating, but he will soon be done in by that intense sun. A wicked tale.
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Many thanks for reading. I went to yours and commented but the captcha thingy wouldn’t let it through, kept saying ‘error… etc’ Anyway, I enjoyed your tale. 🙂
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If her lover dies of heatstroke, will they arrest her or her husband?
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The delivery driver, I think. As an accessory… Thanks for reading.
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How big was that box? I wonder if it was an entire person or just the head in there?
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Big enough for what was in there. Thanks for reading.
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creepy. at least, the crate was padlocked for security.
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All part of the expansive gesture. 🙂
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Extravagant gesture indeed, mailing himself to Cressida. He should have known better. Creepy funny!!
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He will in future. Oh wait… there is no future…
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Dearest Sandra,
You make me smile.
(Poor fellow. I hope he built himself a robust life support system for his crate. If he was too stupid to build himself a way out from the inside then she shouldn’t worry about not having selected him. Darwin files and all that.)
Stay safe and low and keep producing these gems.
Sincerely,
Doug
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Some guys are just so sure of their persuasive capabilities I guess they don’t stop to think of escape routes. Anyway, better off without him – they sound temperamentally unsuited. Stay safe too, Doug. I think your chances of doing that are much improved in your present location than in your former one. And I’m pleased about that.
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Oy vey! Some will go to extra measures indeed … 😉 I think that he ought to think outside of the box …
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Wicked mind wielding pen (or actually, most likely keyboard) strikes again.
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You can ignore a silent box, but can you ignore a plaintive package?
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So, I guess he’s not a major award. (That joke only works if you’re familiar with “A Christmas Story.”) At least Van Gogh only sent his ear.
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Ha! Ha! He really needs to think out of the box next time.
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I really like the way you characterize Cressida and the ending that made me smile broadly. good story Sandra.
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