Making Tracks – Friday Fictioneers, March 2021

Copyright Dale Rogerson

She leaves through the front door as he enters through the back, fitting her footsteps into the giant prints he’s freshly embedded in the snow;  he’ll never know how nearly he just missed her.

After he left this morning for the job she’s discovered he doesn’t have, telling her he was having a drink after work with the friend now living in another country, she’d stood watching snowflakes feathering the lawn, fringing the kitchen windows, slowly burying the remains of his credibility.

This will be the last snowfall of the winter.  It’s a good time to make tracks of her own.

I’ve loved Dale’s snow pictures this winter, and this is one of her most atmospheric.  Thanks to Rochelle for leading the Friday Fictioneers out of another winter.

About Sandra

I used to cruise the French waterways with my husband four or five months a year, and wrote fiction and poetry. Now I live on the beautiful Dorset coast, enjoying the luxury of being able to have a cat, cultivating an extensive garden and getting involved in the community. I still write fiction, but only when the spirit moves me - which isn't as often as before. I love animals, F1 motor racing, French bread and my husband, though not necessarily in that order.
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48 Responses to Making Tracks – Friday Fictioneers, March 2021

  1. neilmacdon says:

    Beautifully written (I loved feathering the lawn) and a satisfyingly complete story.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. ceayr says:

    Exquisitely crafted snapshot of a life.
    Presque mon dernier chapeau!

    Like

  3. Anita says:

    Women empowerment!
    So lovely that she decided to walk out and create her own foot-steps, rather than be with a dishonest and scheming partner.

    Like

  4. Dear Sandra,

    His own lies condemned him. Loved the atmosphere you created with your well-chosen words.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

  5. Michael says:

    You have packed so much into so few words. May the sun shine on your character and you.

    Like

  6. Iain Kelly says:

    Spring is the time for a fresh start. Well done.

    Like

  7. Tannille says:

    Good for her. The last snow reference was a great metaphor.

    Like

  8. Gone with the melting snow. A great take Sandra.

    Like

  9. Dora says:

    Snowfall, deception, and a stealthy escape: I love the way you wove this scene together Sandra.

    Like

  10. granonine says:

    I love stories of women finding the strength to leave. This was truly beautiful.

    Like

  11. Dale says:

    Love how you crafted this. Yay to her for putting an end to the lies.
    And thank you for that lovely comment on my photos!

    Like

  12. msjadeli says:

    I like how she slipped out of the house and stepped in his tracks. Also the snow blanketing what was left of his credibility. Another good story, Sandra.

    Like

  13. jenne49 says:

    What a beautifully described moment of decision. ‘Feathering the lawn’ – Mmm…

    Like

  14. Love the metaphors and the feel of this. Very visual, very FELT. 🙂

    Like

  15. Class, really good stuff. Loved every word

    Like

  16. elmowrites says:

    This is such precise writing, Sandra. A real exemplar for FF. I loved feathering the snow and the theme of tracks throughout. She’s well rid of him, I feel.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. draliman says:

    The culmination of her clever investigating. I bet he thought he was being so clever, too.

    Like

  18. fitting her footsteps into the giant prints he’s freshly embedded in the snow…feathering the lawn, fringing the kitchen windows…plus, the exquisite metaphors… I agree, one of the very best, Sandra.

    Like

  19. liz young says:

    ‘burying the remains of his credibility’ – such an elegant way of putting it!

    Like

  20. A very wise woman. Get out while the getting is good. PLUS! beautiful writing, my dear.

    Like

  21. plaridel says:

    she has reached her limits. it’s about time to leave for good.

    Like

  22. notestowomen says:

    This was beautifully written, Sandra. I liked that she finally decided to make her own tracks.

    Like

  23. I really liked the completeness of your story, suggesting both the history between them and the future. The footprints worked so well in the telling.

    Like

  24. ahtdoucette says:

    Good for her. Wonderfully worded descriptions.

    Like

  25. Great story! Superb last line! Bravo!

    Like

  26. athling2001 says:

    Complete and lovely. I like the image of her leaving out the front door as he comes in the back.

    Like

  27. Nobbinmaug says:

    I love the wording here, especially “slowly burying the remains of his credibility.” It gives it a funereal vibe. Building up lies can tear down one’s reality.

    Like

  28. James McEwan says:

    No chance for meditation, perhaps too late for that. The image of him coming in the back door as she leaves through the front door says it all.

    Like

  29. jwdwrites says:

    Beautifully written as usual. I loved the line; ‘slowly burying the remains of his credibility’. 🙂

    Like

I'd love to hear your views; it reassures me I'm not talking to myself.

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