Threshold – Friday Fictioneers, September 2021

Copyright Sandra Crook

That walk from the front door to the kitchen –  what, five seconds?  Six or seven at the outside.

The Garda trails unwillingly in my wake, shoes squeaking on the linoleum.

This exquisite hiatus heralds the passing from one realm to another, a defining moment.  Is it wrong to savour it?

 I will him to hold his tongue, to leave me unknowing for a moment longer. 

… seven… eight

“Tell me,” I say, turning.

He flushes dull red; he’s too young for this.

“There was this accident… an overloaded trailer… I’m very sorry…”

And there… welcome to my new life.

I decided to create a new response to my old prompt. Les Chiens de Guerre was a thin tale, looking back. Not that this has much fat on it either. 🙂 Thanks to Rochelle for her continued leadership of Friday Fictioneers. Click the froggies to see more.

About Sandra

I used to cruise the French waterways with my husband four or five months a year, and wrote fiction and poetry. Now I live on the beautiful Dorset coast, enjoying the luxury of being able to have a cat, cultivating an extensive garden and getting involved in the community. I still write fiction, but only when the spirit moves me - which isn't as often as before. I love animals, F1 motor racing, French bread and my husband, though not necessarily in that order.
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47 Responses to Threshold – Friday Fictioneers, September 2021

  1. neilmacdon says:

    A wise insightful exploration of that moment of change, Sandra. I loved it

    Like

  2. Anita says:

    Chilling.
    New life with a horrid past. Am sure it will haunt.
    Story- “Make Hay While The Sun Shines”- By Anita

    Like

  3. GHLearner says:

    The moment of knowing-not knowing is perfectly described.

    Like

  4. That moment when you desperately try to hold on to the “before”. Movingly told.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Dear Sandra,

    A tragic “welcoming.” Life can change in a moment…a heartbeat…Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Ain Starlingsson says:

    Impeccable scribing.

    Like

  7. athling2001 says:

    Beautiful story of change. Lovely imagery.

    Like

  8. Dale says:

    Wonderfully done, Sandra. That moment of knowing he is there for this type of reason but not wanting him to say it…

    Like

  9. msjadeli says:

    You described the dread leading up to hearing some unbearable truth very well.

    Like

  10. Vartika says:

    Beautiful story.. well written

    Like

  11. granonine says:

    You know it’s coming. . . you hold it off. . . .but then you can’t, and the world changes forever. Well done.

    Like

  12. Wild Child47 says:

    Breath-taking for its force of nature, the strength in the so well-chosen words, the pauses scream of the forestalling and foreboding. Absolute perfection.

    Like

  13. James McEwan says:

    There is both a deep sadness and a moment of release. The background of a suppressed existence freed by fate.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. A moments pause between the past and future perfectly portrayed, Excellent.

    Like

  15. elmowrites says:

    This story may not be meaty, Sandra, but it’s weighty with anticipation and tiny details that take us right there into your narrator’s heart.
    Thanks for the photo, I hope you enjoy reading a new round of responses!

    Like

  16. trishsplace says:

    Aw shucks, Sandra. Good one. Sad 😦

    Like

  17. plaridel says:

    what do you know? the start of a new beginning perhaps?

    Liked by 1 person

  18. draliman says:

    Those few moments where you know something has happened but you can still pretend, until it’s spoken out loud.

    Like

  19. Bear says:

    The sudden change in life circumstances. No time to fear the inevitable… Somehow, it makes it seem easier… yet, not.

    Like

  20. pennygadd51 says:

    I think this is wonderfully written. You leave me with the impression that although to the outside world this will seem a tragedy, for the protagonist it’s actually a longed-for outcome. Whether her motives are venal, or whether she’s a victim of abuse who is now set free we don’t know, but that doesn’t matter. The important thing is that you subvert our expectation of tragedy with such beautiful elegance.

    Like

    • Sandra says:

      Thanks for your lovely comment, Penny. I was trying to strip all personal reaction out of the piece, so it wasn’t hampered by grief or relief, just the power (and futility) of the moment.

      Like

  21. Dora says:

    Sandra,
    A brilliant description of a portal in time and space, from one life to the next. Whether grief or relief is in play seems almost beside the point.
    pax,
    dora

    Like

  22. Lorraine says:

    Counting seconds, hoping time will freeze, just long enough, to accept or will to change the past as much as the future. When the police appear, the news is rarely good. Well told.

    Like

  23. A beautifully crafted story Sandra, I love the way it unfolds. I especially like the sentence which begins ‘the exquisite hiatus heralds…’

    Like

I'd love to hear your views; it reassures me I'm not talking to myself.

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