Show You Love Me – Friday Fictioneers, June 2022

Copyright David Stewart

Nobody except me remembers how it started, though none of us will ever forget how it ended.

Poised on the brink, arms outstretched, head tucked, cheers echoing off the cliff faces surrounding the shallow pool, and his lithe body gleaming in the autumn sunlight.

Would he?

How would he not, I thought.  My brother would do anything to impress her.

Yet in the end she looked away when it mattered.

I see her sometimes when he and I visit the park.

She smiles…

crouches beside him…

touches his cheek.

And moves on with the rest of her life.

Thanks to Rochelle, leader of our group of writers, for finding time in what I know is a very busy summer schedule to keep Friday Fictioneers going week after week.

About Sandra

I used to cruise the French waterways with my husband four or five months a year, and wrote fiction and poetry. Now I live on the beautiful Dorset coast, enjoying the luxury of being able to have a cat, cultivating an extensive garden and getting involved in the community. I still write fiction, but only when the spirit moves me - which isn't as often as before. I love animals, F1 motor racing, French bread and my husband, though not necessarily in that order.
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48 Responses to Show You Love Me – Friday Fictioneers, June 2022

  1. Reena Saxena says:

    ‘The shallow pool’ acquires new meaning here.

    Like

  2. Iain Kelly says:

    Ouch. I wonder if she feels any guilt? Excellent story Sandra.

    Like

  3. neilmacdon says:

    Just beautiful, Sandra. Such clever use of the white space

    Like

  4. Dear Sandra,

    I’m assuming that dive didn’t go well. Two kinds of shallow in this story. Well done…but that’s what I’ve come to expect. Thank you for your kind words and decade of support.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

  5. Dale says:

    You leave us with so much to ponder. Love your stories, Sandra.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Vartika says:

    That’s heartbreaking. Good story Sandra

    Like

  7. granonine says:

    Oh! The heartbreak is palpable. Excellent story.

    Like

  8. pennygadd51 says:

    Oh, wow. Beautifully written, Sandra. You leave us with such a lot to ponder.

    Like

  9. msjadeli says:

    Pearls before swine… Why does it have to be like that.

    Like

  10. I knew where this was heading but I took the plunge anyway. I raised boys so this story hit home. I shutter at the what ifs.
    Tracey

    Like

  11. Sue says:

    Plenty to ponder on

    Like

  12. I read this twice, just to make sure i got the story, very clever use of the world shallow as a metaphor for her feelings towards him since the accident. Nice one

    Like

  13. plaridel says:

    if it’s not meant to be, it’s not meant to be. such is life.

    Like

  14. Such a sad tale, if only he’d only known how she felt about him.

    Like

  15. elmowrites says:

    As ever, you weave little clues into this story then tie them up at the end. I’m glad the sister stuck by him when that particular shallow pool had washed away.

    Like

  16. Bill says:

    I see so much here within so few words. Well done, Sandra, beginning to end.

    Like

  17. Patricia Clair says:

    Oh, wow. Nicely done!

    Like

  18. Danny James says:

    That didn’t go well did it.

    Like

  19. GHLearner says:

    Hos ‘nice’ of her to smile and touch his cheek. Beware of the shallow pools, either way. Great story, Sandra.

    Like

  20. He tried so hard to impress, but in the end she turned away. A sad story told in a powerful way as usual. Wonderful!

    Like

  21. Forestwood says:

    Skillfully written and it made me think of several possible explanations. Those are the best stories. I can learn much from how you wrote it. Well done!

    Like

  22. James McEwan says:

    When we are young, being fearless to impress our friends seems like fun. Unfortunately, some end badly. Well told.

    Like

  23. Margaret says:

    Oh such a tragic story. I’m in awe of the way you’ve revealed the outcome of his dive – her crouching down to touch his face – that’s all you give us. Amazing. And the last line is perfect.

    Like

  24. This gave me shivers!! Very evocative

    Like

I'd love to hear your views; it reassures me I'm not talking to myself.

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