Copyright J Hardy Carroll
At dusk the villagers commence their annual pilgrimage through the woods.
I’m sixteen; judged old enough to participate now.
We reach the clearing where, only yesterday, charred timbers littered a blackened hollow, that nature, oddly, has abhorred for years. But today I see a sprawling house, with dark soul-less eyes. From within I hear whimpers and sobbing.
We stand in a circle for hours, pain etched on our faces, listening.
And then the windows glow red, and the screams…
The house vanishes.
“For years we refused to acknowledge what went on at the orphanage,” my father says, “we owe them this.”
I really didn’t feel like submitting something darkly tragic today, but this is what the muse thrust upon me, and having had the grandchildren to stay for a few days, I really must get on with restoring the house to its usual pristine condition… yeah, only joking. 😉 Many thanks to Rochelle who leads the Friday Fictioneers with her usual aplomb and dedication.
castelsarrasin 
Phew, Sandra, ghosts and memories in abundance.
Powerful, tragic, atmospheric, magnificent.
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Thanks CE. 🙂
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I say that every time and somehow darkness creeps its way out of my pen. This is truly a dark, haunting piece, it got my mind run in circles. A very powerful story, Sandra.
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I know what you mean, Lore. Sometimes I feel I want to be flippant, and today was one such day, but I’m governed by this alter ego…. or so it seems. 🙂
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Dear Sandra,
I hope this wasn’t “inspired” by a recent visitation. Deliciously dark. This is something I could see becoming a larger piece and then a movie. Ever so well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Not at all. 🙂 I think this, or something very similar was recently done as a television play over here. At least it was a piece about a family renting a haunted house that had once been an orphanage. It was one of those series that had great impact at the time, ghostly feet on the stairs etc. Thanks for commenting Rochelle.
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Very evocative of all the historic and current child abuse scandals. Brilliant! The only thing that tripped me was the word “pilgrimage” at the beginning. I see pilgrimage as a journey of veneration, not of expiation.
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I take your point. I’m not sure I know of one word for a ‘journey of atonement’, and if I’d used that phrase it would have given the (rather weak) ending away. A pilgrimage can be a journey of moral or spiritual significance, I believe, but you may be right. Thanks for commenting.
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Great stuff. This could be a novel in itself.
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Thank you. That was a very inspiring photo.
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Wow! That impacted. Terrific story, Sandra! Going “dark” sure worked for you. As we say here, always go with your best pitch.
I went “historical” on my story. I have trouble going dark as it is. 🙂
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I really wanted to be ‘flippant’ today, but you have to make do with what you’re given. 🙂 Thanks for reading Kent.
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Wow. Very haunting. My kind of story!
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Thanks Thom 🙂
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Those horror told from orphanages in the world… we have all heard the stories, and your viewpoint brought them all back to us….
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I researched ‘fire in orphanages’ very quickly after I’d written it, and came up with a horrendous event that took place in Ireland where, allegedly, the nun in charge wouldn’t allow the girls to run from the house because they’d be seen in their nightdresses! And where one victim had only been consigned to the orphanage because the local priest didn’t think it was right that his only surviving relative should be allowed to bring the child up because of religious differences. Thanks for reading Bjorn.
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Creepy! I’m glad you let the photo prompt take you where it wanted. I love scary stuff. Nicely done.
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I’d moved away from scary but maybe I’m on my way back there again. 😉 Thank you.
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You do scary very well. Go ahead, join me on the dark side. But bring a flashlight because… well, it’s dark. 😉
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I felt compelled to write about an orphanage, but glad I did not. Could not have done it the way you did…such an intense atmosphere and true feeling of penance. well done.
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Thanks for reading, glad you liked it. 🙂
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This was one of your rare paranormal stories, Sandra. I knew this picture would bring tragic stories out of the writers.in the group. Well written as always. You painted a vivid, terrifying work picture. —- Suzanne
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Thanks Suzanne. It was a very menacing picture, I agree. Hope all is well with you.
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Very creepily done, great job as usual 🙂
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Thanks Helen, glad you liked it.
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That gave me shivers.
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Thanks for reading, Carol. 🙂
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Wow, what a day to get back to reading stories, first Rochelle’s and now yours. I think I’ll get back to my cuppa and the new Laurie R. King book! 🙂 Beautiful done as always.
janet
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Nothing like getting your feet up with a good book, Janet. Enjoy!
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Your story hadn’t made me think of it, but I remember the TV show you refer to in your reply to Rochelle. Nevertheless, I fet your story had a different slant to it and could well be a longer story, and a movie, as she suggests. It reminds me in a strange way of The Village, if you’ve ever seen that? Anyway, love the mix of magic and realism, and the darkness you imbued throughout. I was worried for the girl at first, and pleased to see you didn’t head off into sacrifice.
If you’re bored of the darkness, can you send some over my way, please? I used to write so much grim / murder / misery and find it much harder to come back now I’m mothering little ones.
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I don’t think I remember The Village, Jennifer, though I have seen several films where villagers unite in preserving a deadly secret. And as for darkness, I’m sure when it comes back to you, it will come back in a highly concentrated form after being suppressed. 🙂 Thanks for dropping by.
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Wow…where you went with this!
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Thanks for reading, Dawn.
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Atonement and fire, may not redeem them I fear, a powerful illustration of evil.
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Or of resentment. Whoah! I’m scaring myself here.
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Stark, dark and scary! Well done!
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Thank you!
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The house with dark, soul-less eyes…this has a very haunting feel to it. I like where this took you, Sandra. It’s hard not to go dark with this one. You survived the grandkids! Congratulations.
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It was a great photo for inspiring ‘dark’, wasn’t it? I’m still finding socks, toys, phone chargers etc that the kids left behind, despite at least four sweeps of the house before they left. 😦
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I’m glad you listened to your muse. This is a wonderfully grim, chilling story, brilliantly executed, as usual.
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Thanks Margaret, glad you liked it.
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Orphanages have horrible connotations, especially these days and your piece expresses the true horror of what has gone on so often and there’s probably so much more to be revealed unfortunately. Soul-less is exactly the right word for these institutions and so many of those who worked in them.
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It’s a sad fact, I’m afraid. Thanks for dropping by.
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Perfect and dark, I can see it as a movie too. It gives me the shivers, and your true story in the comments makes me want to scream.
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I know, I was quite horrified when I read that. Thanks for reading. 🙂
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Creepy, tragic and powerful. Very nice piece.
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Thank you!
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Wow – what a pwerful story, and so well told.
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Thanks Liz. 🙂
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Great piece of horror (with reality behind it).
I think it’s hard to do this well – there’s so much silly stuff around. This really hits that chilling spot.
Whilst I’d agree this could be a film, I think it’s power lies in the pictures you create in the reader’s imagination.
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I’ve always felt that the important thing with horror fiction is not to over-write it. The writer’s pen comes a poor second to the reader’s imagination when it comes to the macabre aspects of the detail. I’m not sure I did that here, but that’s what I set out to do. 😉 Thanks for reading.
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Very eerie!
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Thanks for reading.
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Always read your writes, Sandra.
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The villager’s own little bit of Hell on Earth. Good and dark.
Tracey
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Thanks Tracey. 🙂
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It made my skin crawl and my imagination harbored thoughts of horror. I’d shriek, but I don’t want to scare your other readers.
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He wouldn’t mind, honestly. 😉
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Ah the muse. Somedays I hold off from posting because my muse takes me to a dark place. Glad to you went where the muse took you….it was a powerful and sad story with a hint of magic.
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Thanks Ansumani. I wouldn’t want to upset the muse. 😦
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nice touch on a dark subject. well done.
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Thank you 🙂
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oh my. eerie, creepy but written beautifully!
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Thank you!
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my pleasure! 😀
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A stunning story, full of haunting imagery. Beautifully narrated, Sandra!
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Many thanks. 🙂
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My pleasure!
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I felt it was going in a similar direction to my very first FF… spooky, involving children. Well done (as usual!)
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Thank you Dale!
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It’s not Gore Orphanage, is it? There is a local legend in my home town about Gore Orphanage. The legends state that it burned down killing all of the kids. There’s a lot more to it than that, of course. You can go there at night and smell the fire and hear the kids screaming. Unfortunately it is a legend – the state closed the orphanage years before the fire. But the orphanage was known for its cruelty.
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It’s a fictional orphanage, Trent, but the one I read about afterwards was Cavan Orphanage in Ireland.
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Love the dark murky tones…great story!
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Thank you. 🙂
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Wow. Very emotional, impactful story.
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Thanks Jan. 🙂
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Odd that this picture brought to mind orphanages for both of us. Your story sounds rather supernatural too – loved it. (But I like dark stories.)
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The house of horrors most likely, a very dark and supernatural feel to the story.
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when we refuse to act against wrongs the outcome is a foregone conclusion
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Fantastic take on the prompt Sandra! Loved it! 🙂
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Great read! Makes me want to know the full story.
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