This week’s picture prompt from Madison Woods’ Friday Fictioneers was a rainbow, or to be more precise, if you look closely, two rainbows. I thought it would be easy to come up with a 100 word flash for this, but I struggled. Rainbows seem to evoke sentiment; and I don’t do sentiment well without feeling extremely uncomfortable. Sinister and funny is more my bag. So this week, I ended up with … irony. (I think)
Pursuit
“Hi Jeanie, how’s it going?”
“Fine. You?”
“Terrific. Looks like I might have a contract lined up.”
“Yeah?”
“Right – guy saw me perform, left a number for me to ring.”
“Terrific. When are you coming home, honey?”
“Soon Jeanie, I’m on the verge of a breakthrough now, I can feel it.”
“That’s great.”
“Can I have a word with Susie?”
“Sure. Love you.”
“Love you too Jeanie, talk to you again.”
“Hi Daddy!”
“Hi baby, missing you lots.”
“Me too. Did you catch any, Daddy?”
“Any what, honey?”
“Rainbows… Mummy said that’s what you were chasing.”
If it weren’t so very true though – the children will out you every time.
I’m amazed by the three different characters I see through so few words and simple dialogue.
Here’s my attempt: http://mysocalleddutchlife.wordpress.com/2012/05/17/friday-fictioneers/
Thanks for commenting; enjoyed yours.
Is this a problem with my settings? is there something I can do to solve it?
Dear So called, I am Laura of Lindaura Glamoura, and I really want to comment on your story, but I cannot figure out how. Perhaps you need to change your settings in your blog to allow comments?
Anyway, if you get this, write to me at my story page at:
http://fictionvictimtoo.blogspot.com
Thanks
Hi Laura, it’s next to the number of comments, under the story. In orange it says something like ‘Post your own’.
Actually, it is the commentator above, whose story was “Caledonia” that I wanted to contact, and I still can’t see how! Did you find it?
Well I just went to ‘socalled’s page and at bottom left it said the number of comments, and then next to it ‘post your own’. I assume if you clicked on that a box opened up, because I do recall commenting on that story. I’ll go have another look.
Ah I remember now, I did have a problem. You go to the top left of the post and click on the number of comments. A minute ago it said 44. You click on that. Every one is different hey?
i usually have something to write within minutes. it’s been, what, two days? i got nothing. nice job.
Well you got there Rich, enjoyed yours. And thanks for dropping by.
LOL! I love it!
Thank you!
Lol. I think you got irony.
I haven’t even tried tackling this one yet. I figure I’ll give it a go after a bit. You did quite well though. Whenever I manage something, I’ll pop back by and leave my linky.
Here’s my link for anyone wanting to read.
https://unduecreativity.wordpress.com/2012/05/17/fields-of-wildflowers/
Thanks for commening, enjoyed yours.
Great little story, Sandra! The last line is priceless.
My story is here: http://authorbrandonscott.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/facade/
Thanks Brandon, been to yours, enjoyed it.
From the mouths of babes comes truth! Loved this one. http://oldentimes.wordpress.com/2012/05/17/can-it-be-friday-fictioneers-may-18-2012/
You can always rely on kids…
Thanks for commenting.
Caught the essence completely. Really good. Here’s mine http://jemcogdell.blogspot.com/2012/05/100-word-flash-magical-meadow.html
Thanks for commenting, enjoyed yours.
When Do you stop chasing your dreams?
Here’s mine http://createrealitylivelife.wordpress.com/in-the-eyes-of-tragedy/
Thanks Amanda; I guess it ought to be when they get in the way of your responsibilities, but it doesn’t work that way sometimes.
Lol, perfect last line. The way children can so innocently repeat things…
My piece http://viewsfromnature.com/2012/05/17/fridayfictioneers-fool/
Yes, you can rely on them. Little pitchers etc…
Thanks for commenting.
loved this little piece
mine’s at: http://writersclubkl.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/friday-fictioneers-head-tripping/
Thank you!
they’re adorable aren’t they; a perfect way to indirectly tell someone something
http://sacha1nch1.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/freds-ark/
But if you wanted them to, they wouldn’t.
Thanks for dropping by.
Wonderfully original take on the prompt. From the mouth of babes, we must always be careful what we say around our children. Nicely done.
Here’s mine: http://teschoenborn.com/2012/05/17/friday-fictioneers-luck-of-the/
Yes, if you don’t want them to hear it they certainly will… and remember it. Thanks for dropping by.
That’s a sweet take on the prompt, very nice.
I know you’ve read mine but force of habit – http://theequiaticbind.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/friday-fictioneers-magic-mac-the-magic-man/
Thanks Sean.
Love it. The last line made me chuckle. Wonder which rainbow daddy is chasing this time? lol. Mine is not written yet. Will leave my usual link later.
I think it’s a recording contract.
Thanks for dropping by.
Don’t children always say the most obvious things, you can rely on them to get a message across without it being sentimental or sarcastic and I loved the twist you gave to this at the end, well done.
Here be mine: http://womanontheedgeofreality.com/2012/05/18/friday-fictioneers-god-plays-the-tom-toms/
Don’t they just?
Thanks for dropping by.
You’re welcome Sandra
Dear Sandra,
Your story hit home especially hard as I’ve been the one chasing rainbows for so long. (I’m outlasting them through sheer cussedness.) “When are you coming home?” Great line that I’ve heard literally and figuratively too many times.
I think you did very well with the prompt this week, no matter how hard it may have seemed to you. Thanks for visiting mine. Forgive me for leaving a link here. Trying to snare some fellow dreamers.
Aloha,
Doug
http://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/no-rain-no-rainbows-3/
Thanks Doug. Good luck with the rainbows, anyway.
Oh my gosh! Pitch perfect, heartbreaking ending. I love it. http://kaitlinandmichaelbranch.com/2012/05/18/friday-fictioneers-3/#comments
Thanks Kaitlin.
Ah, out of the mouths of babes. A lot packed into so few words. Excellent!
Here’s mine: http://unspywriter.wordpress.com/friday-fictioneers/sure-and-its-hard-work-being-wee-folk/
And always when you least expect it! Thanks for commenting.
Ha ha ha! She gave the game away. I love this. Would Daddy laugh or cry? Mine is here: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/friday-fictioneers-sinking-low/
I think Daddy should feel a tad guilty. Thanks for dropping by.
I add my OMG! That last line left me breathless. So innocent, yet so telling!
http://www.rochelle-wisoff.blogspot.com/2012/05/miracle.html
Thanks Rochelle. Appreciate your dropping by.
Perfect illustration of the “kids say the darndest things” premise. Very nice to fit three different voices within such limited space and not get muddled.
Thanks for commenting Jeffrey. Yes I had to check the run of the dialogue a few times.
Ha! Chasing rainbows, indeed; what we are all doing. And not a bad thing at all as long as one remembers the journey is more important than the destination. Irony, but sweet irony.
Mine: http://repuestodelatabla.wordpress.com/
Thankyou Carlos.
Great piece, and such a lot about the characters flows through from the dialogue. Great title, too.
Thanks for your comment on mine. Link here for others:
http://www.lazuli-portals.com/flash-fiction/a-cordello-memory
Thank you Joanna. I enjoyed yours.
I love it. You can just see the wife behind the child shaking her head and going “SHHH!”
Here’s mine, if you’re interested:
http://smallquietplace.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/a-quiet-place-to-rest/
I think she might be saying something a bit stronger than that!
Thank you for commenting.
This was wonderful! I love how the child tells the truth….they will do that every time! Mine is here, if anyone would like to read it: http://theforgottenwife.com/2012/05/17/friday-fictioneers-2/
heehee! You’re stealing Russell’s spot as our resident comic, Sandra. Nicely done.
I’m over here: http://elmowrites.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/friday-fiction-the-lie-of-the-land/
I could never hope to emulate Russell, Elmo. Thanks for dropping by.
Excellent story and I loved that last line
Here’s mine
http://tollykitsjourney.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/rainbows-fridayfictioneers-flashfiction/
Thanks for commenting.
That is really cute Sandra and a very original take on the prompt. I loved it!
Wakefield
http://www.wakefieldmahon.com/1/post/2012/05/light-supremacy-friday-fictioneers.html
Thank you Wakefield.
Love it – it was a great way to bring it home. As always, I really enjoy your writing.
Mine is here: http://erinleary.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/eirinn-go-brach/
Thank you Erin. Enjoyed yours.
Daddys are their little girls heroes. I can imagine what Susie was picturing when her Mommy told her that her hero was out chasing rainbows. Perhaps a saddled unicorn! Nice Sandra.
Thank you prosingon. Yes, I think Daddy might be falling short of the mark here.
Out of the mouths of babes! Especially Susie’s!
WP added a opt out feature last week on the “discussion” page. You can unclick it now to go back to the old way…
Thanks Susie, done that now. Thank for commenting too.
Ah yes,great job on this. I wasn’t sure how the rainbow was going to fit in as I read, but you have a way with dialogue, so I didn’^t really think about it – then blam, the sweet innicence of a child speaking the greater truth without even knowing it. Chasing rainbows indeed, lol, loved it.
Thanks Judee. Pleased to see you back in this week.
Thank you Sandra, I enjoyed getting a little creative again. It comes and goes, so I’m always hapopy when something tickles my muse.
Here is mine BTW!
http://susielindau.com/2012/05/18/without-a-doubt-100-word-flash-fiction/
Been and commented. Lovely.
As usual, you told a charming tale totally in dialogue, and it all rang true – and sadly familiar, too.
Nice clever pun on the prompt.
Yours as ever,
Laura
Lindaura
Thanks Laura. I’m warming to dialogue stories.
Lovely…! I love children most!
Here’s mine:
http://writeforacause.org/2012/05/18/friday-fictioneers-answered-prayer/#comment-50
Please feel free to check it out too!
Thanks for commenting. Been to yours.
Aw, that’s sweet. And I love how you can picture the whole scene well, without so much as a he said or she said.
http://littlewonder2.wordpress.com/2012/05/17/friday-fictioneers-rainbows/
Thank you for dropping by and commenting.
I get a clear sense of who the mother is, even though she doesn’t make an appearance, and that impressed me. Well done!
Thanks for your comment on mine. Here’s the link for your readers: http://pinionpost.com/2012/05/18/wake-up-where/
Thanks for commenting Brian.
I feel so sad for all of them. He needs to chase his rainbows and she needs to let him go, and the child needs to understand that sometimes a person is possessed by demons they can’t smother without terrible costs to their soul. It all just rings of an unfortunate trio who aren’t meant to be with each other. Sandra, lol, for someone uncomfortable with *emotions* your story wrung a lot of it out of me.
Thank you for commenting Madison. This has been a busy day for FF so appreciate it.
nice conversational piece
I seem to chase rainbows all the time!!!
I think dialogue helps you round word limitation pieces. Thanks for commenting.
Hi Sandra,
Very skillful to tell the whole story in dialog. And I like that it’s upbeat with a fun ending! Thanks for your comment on my story. Sounds like you might be a fellow bird lover.
Thank you for commenting. Yes, you should see my bird-table, even though they do make a mess of my terrace.
I’m guilty as charged. Doomed to chase rainbow till they put me under the grass. You did extremely well with this prompt. It also reminded me of the old Art Linkletter show, “Kids say the darnest things.” Thanks for the nice comment on mine. I’ll leave my link below in an attempt to wrangle some of your readers my direction.
http://russellgayer.blogspot.com/
Yes, I’ve been on the wrong end of ‘kid’s truth’ before now. And I’m sure any readers will be flocking over to yours – you’ve got a reputation for delivering the goods.
I am a rainbow chaser as well.
http://thebradleychronicles.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/flash-fiction-friday-4/
I hope you catch some, then.
Aren’t we all! Love it. Good job.
Thanks for commenting Sheila.
Aww wonderful! I loved this. And I had the same problem, a beautiful picture but found it hard to come up with a story. Here mine.
http://freejournowriter.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/friday-fictioneers-end-of-the-rainbow/
Thanks for commenting Emma – appreciate it.
Ah, the innocence of children, eh? It’s when we give up chasing those rainbows that life becomes dull and meaningless.
You did a great job here!
http://garybaileywriting.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/fridayfictioneers-rainbow-memorial/
Thanks Gary. I liked yours too.
I had time for one more read before racing out to go camping! This was so real and so quietly poignant, I love all the things that weren’t said, but seen through what was. Wonderful!
Kathy
http://notforallmarkets.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/after/
LOL. That totally made me laugh. Definitely inspired!
Thanks Stacey.
I think you got the irony bit! Children! Lovely things.
http://storytreasury.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/friday-flash-dust-devils-lawn/
Dialog is hard, but the punchline was gut-wrenching. Jeanie seems to have heard it all and is pretty noncommittal through the entire conversation, but she does want to know when Daddy is coming home; and Susie … well, as most everyone else has observed, out of the mouth of babes. Except you set it up so innocently. Nicely done. What do you think of mine, over at http://scottcheck.blogspot.com/2012/05/rainbow-promises.html
Thanks for commenting. I’ll be over to yours shortly.
A recording contract, huh? Maybe he should audition for American Idol or The Voice… lol. Here’s mine:
http://www.triplemoonstar.blogspot.com
Well there’s plenty of choice these days. Thanks for commenting, I’ll be over to yours this morning.
Oh that was rich. There are some many different takes on this prompt this week. I love it. This is a perfect example of things you should never say in front of a child. Here’s my sare: http://remakingme-atiyatownes.blogspot.com/2012/05/friday-flash-fiction-country-walk.html
Thank you! I enjoyed yours too.
Great story and the irony works really well. Made me smile and I love the last line. I haven’t posted one this week. Hope to join you next time.
Thanks Melody. Enjoyed reading Mariska’s exploits.
Uh oh. Momma got outed. Always got to watch what you say around them, or they’re bound to repeat it at the most inopportune times. Loved it.
You can rely on them for that Jake, Thanks for dropping by.
Great, joke at the end, made me laugh.
Thanks for dropping by and reading.
Oh Sandra that’s brilliant, I can hear it coming out of her mouth!
Thanks for commenting Gilly.