Remote Control (Five Sentence Fiction, August 2012)

The one word prompt from Lillie McFerrin’s Five Sentence Fiction this week was ‘Distance‘.

He’d always kept her at a distance, a cold, threatening figure on the perimeter of her young world; a chilling presence so tangible that by the time she was sixteen she had neither the power to resist his will, nor the courage to attempt to bridge the yawning gap that lay between them.

As he’d given her away at the altar, to a man he’d chosen for her, she’d vainly searched his eyes for some sign of pride or love; and when her only child was born she’d watched in dismay as he gazed dispassionately into the crib, momentarily extending a finger to the mewling mite, before withdrawing it so he could check the time.

So some years later, when she arrived at the hospital to find her father hooked up to an array of machines, drips and monitors, she was only mildly surprised at the wave of  indifference that swept through her;  what did surprise her however was that  in some strange way she felt almost energised, as though she were finally on the pathway to an art form that had eluded her all her life.

After she’d signed the necessary forms and the support systems had been switched off, she brushed aside the condolences of the nursing staff, and ignoring her son’s tears, she ushered him swiftly out onto the corridor, touching him only to place his cap firmly on his head.

“We need to hurry son,” she said in a cold detached voice, as his little legs struggled to keep up with her, “we’ve a long journey ahead; it’s quite some distance.”

About Sandra

I used to cruise the French waterways with my husband four or five months a year, and wrote fiction and poetry. Now I live on the beautiful Dorset coast, enjoying the luxury of being able to have a cat, cultivating an extensive garden and getting involved in the community. I still write fiction, but only when the spirit moves me - which isn't as often as before. I love animals, F1 motor racing, French bread and my husband, though not necessarily in that order.
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12 Responses to Remote Control (Five Sentence Fiction, August 2012)

  1. sue Cottrill says:

    Your mind working overtime again Sandra, good one once more.


  2. conhippy says:

    Thank you. I am jumping on the bandwagon


  3. TheOthers1 says:

    He taught her to not care. She obviously learned that lesson well. Nicely done.


  4. jtsuruoka says:

    Nicely done. I now have to go listen to “Cats in the Cradle”. This is a very evocative piece. Congrats.


  5. Linda says:

    It was too late for him to realize that reap what you sow! Well done.


  6. This is great!. Really cold and dispassionate to start and then you get the feeling that now she has a real chance to escape and find something better.




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