The Sorcerer’s Apprentice (Friday Fictioneers, March 2014)

Copyright Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

The janitor leaned towards me, breath foetid with stale garlic.

“Goin’ all the way, sweetheart?”

“Seventh floor,” I whispered, jerking away.

“Seventh heaven it is,” he said, “satisfaction guaranteed, Miss.”

He fumbled with the gates, stretching out our time in this confined space, as always.

“Hurry please, I’m late.”

“Eager beaver, hey?  I love a bitch in heat.”

I stepped out, muttering.

He leaned out to watch me walk away, and with a shriek of metal the lift dropped instantly.

If he didn’t break his neck when his chin hit floor level, he certainly bought the farm when the elevator shattered in the basement.

I was getting better at this.

 A bit later this week as I’ve been out maxing out the credit card with my BFF.  Deep joy!   I wrote one before I left, but wanted to refine it before uploading it and found, on my return, that KZ had pretty much covered the same ground. So back to the drawing board it was.  The lengths I’ll go to in order to present something different for Friday Fictioneers…    🙂

About Sandra

I cruise the French waterways with my husband four or five months a year, and write fiction and poetry. I love animals, F1 motor racing, French bread and my husband, though not necessarily in that order.
This entry was posted in Friday Fictioneers, Just Sayin' and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

84 Responses to The Sorcerer’s Apprentice (Friday Fictioneers, March 2014)

  1. Dear Sandra,

    The complete non nonchalance of the MC at the end made me laugh out loud. I wouldn’t want to get on her bad side. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

  2. misskzebra says:

    This definitely made me smile, though I would hope she doesn’t use these tricks on everyone who irritates her.

    Like

  3. paulmclem says:

    Two new things for me here…’foetid’ and ‘buying a farm’. Will need to work those into one of my own stories sometime. Thanks! ps. Good story, although perhaps a knee to the groin might have set him straight 🙂

    Like

    • Sandra says:

      That’s the English spelling of ‘fetid’. I like to stick with my heritage. 🙂 And the other phrase I didn’t even know I knew until I wrote it… Thanks for dropping by.

      Like

  4. JudahFirst says:

    You had me at the title. The rest was delicious icing on the cake! 🙂 Don’t we all wish we had something of that power from time to time? The poor drivers around me during rush hour wouldn’t have a chance!! lol

    Like

  5. Good story. That was the height of vengence. He certainly picked on the wrong person. Maybe she should carry a warning sign with her. Well done.

    Like

  6. JackieP says:

    Oh yeah! Loved this, wicked of me, I’m sure. 😉

    Like

  7. Nice! Sounds like some awesome powers to possess!

    Like

  8. M. R. says:

    You’re definitely getting weirder, Sandra … but it’s TERRIFIC ! 😀

    Like

  9. BrainRants says:

    I hated the janitor – good characterization in only 100 words!

    Like

  10. You captured the essence of a leering, creepy old man perfectly and his comeuppance just as well. But the fact that you and kz were on the same track? Scary!
    janet

    Like

  11. Great story Sandra, what a wicked character you have created. Loved it.

    Like

  12. Horus says:

    Don’t mess with the miss ! 🙂

    Like

  13. HeeHee, loved it! 🙂

    Like

  14. Rajlakshmi says:

    Wow I so loved the ending. Took me by surprise. 🙂

    Like

  15. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear Sandra,

    You haven’t (and won’t, I’ll wager) lost your touch. Perfect title and story.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    Like

  16. subroto says:

    Loved that description of the janitor in the beginning, you do tell such a great story Sandra.

    Like

  17. EagleAye says:

    That was a truly disgusting guy. He got what he deserved. And now I wonder at her power. A most compelling story!

    Like

  18. K.Z. says:

    lol! such an awesome take on the photo. i so envy her powers. and you did such a great job in turning that janitor into a character that the reader would want to hate

    Like

  19. Since women aren’t physically as strong as men, mostly anyway, a bit of the ol’ magic would have to do instead. Am going for martial art lessons myself. The next one will get it from me and only me.

    Like

  20. You never cease to surprise and amaze me, Sandra. This is wickedly excellent!

    Like

  21. elmowrites says:

    As ever, Sandra, a masterpiece. I love the character you give them both – he in particular is so vivid in our minds even after just a few words. I’m going to check out KZ’s story, but I have a feeling I’m glad she stole your thunder

    Like

  22. Carrie says:

    Ohh, don’t want to mess with that one.

    Like

  23. Liz Young says:

    Rather an extreme reaction to a lecher who didn’t touch?

    Like

  24. plaridel says:

    had he brushed his teeth, maybe, just maybe, things could’ve turned out differently.

    Like

  25. Congratulations for creating such a revolting male character, Sandra. He is so scary and slimy I felt dirty reading about him.

    Like

  26. Perfect setup and delivery. So clever. Enjoyed!

    Like

  27. elappleby says:

    Love it! You made me laugh out loud 🙂

    Like

  28. vbholmes says:

    Still trying, without success, to twitch my nose like Samantha in the “Bewitched” reruns. Dropping an elevator?–I’d say she has definitely progressed to Level Seven in her training. Fun story, Sandra.

    Like

  29. Ha. yes never mess with a lady like that.. great take (and I had some tip it would be great) ..

    Like

  30. Amy Reese says:

    This guy was a creep. He had it coming. I love your originality, Sandra, and your dedication to it. It paid off. This is one of a kind, inventive story!

    Like

  31. wmqcolby says:

    I laughed at this one. You are SO devilish with this story. Bravo, Sandra!

    Like

  32. draliman says:

    As the story progressed I was hoping something nasty would happen to him! I can imagine her twitching her nose like in Bewitched as she walks away and suddenly down goes the lift 🙂

    Like

  33. Nan Falkner says:

    Oh Sandra, this is good – he got what was coming and she did it just perfectly! Nan 🙂

    Like

  34. A female Harry Potter! Maybe you should write a whole series of stories. It’s time we had a heroine instead of a hero hogging the limelight 🙂

    Like

  35. What a detestable character you created for your victim. Good little tale.

    Like

  36. Some great language in this. Love it. And justice is done.

    Like

  37. storydivamg says:

    Terrible, terrifying and well-written, dear Sandra. You serve up a big tale in just 100 words this week. Nicely done. The last line sings.
    Cheers!
    Marie Gail

    Like

  38. I am embarrassed to tell you that made me LOL.

    Like

  39. Muttering takes on a whole new meaning when you’re a sorcerer (‘s apprentice). That janitor had it coming. 🙂

    Like

  40. yarnspinnerr says:

    Everyone should know a little sorcery, these days. Intersting take.

    Like

  41. Indira says:

    Your stories are very nice Sandra. Very apt title and story.

    Like

  42. atrm61 says:

    Ha!ha!That Janitor-yuck-so glad he got his just desserts!Loved the characterization and that fantastic end-you rock Sandra 😀

    Like

  43. Sarah Ann says:

    Love it. So pleasing to know the old letch suffered 😉

    Like

  44. Oh I love a good story with karma! Great job at creating such a despicable character, so his demise was a relief!

    Like

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