Wrecked – Friday Fictioneers, August 2015

Copyright C E Ayr

“How could you? You? My oldest friend?”

I can’t meet Lou’s gaze; I’ve known for months that this day would come.

In the study, drawers are opening and slamming shut.

“I knew…” she sobs, “I could tell… the way you were with him. Something had changed.”

Tom appears in the doorway, files under his arm, suitcases at his feet.

“You had to tell her, didn’t you?” he sneers at me.

But Tom’s secret hadn’t been mine to tell; I’d stayed silent.

Someone else hadn’t, and now my friend will never forgive me.

Together, but alienated now, we watch him leave with his mistress.

Friday Fictioneers kicks off again today under the leadership and cool gaze of Rochelle Wisoff-Fields.  I finished Rochelle’s book”Please Say Kaddish For Me” this weekend; a thoroughly enjoyable read.  I stand in awe of her talent and dedication.

About Sandra

I cruise the French waterways with my husband four or five months a year, and write fiction and poetry. I love animals, F1 motor racing, French bread and my husband, though not necessarily in that order.
This entry was posted in Friday Fictioneers, Just Sayin' and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

65 Responses to Wrecked – Friday Fictioneers, August 2015

  1. Dear Sandra,

    Friendships can be such tenuous things. You evoked so much emotion through well written dialogue. I feel for the MC who has lost two friendships at once.

    Shalom,

    Rohelle

    PS Thanks again for the kudos of PSKFM and for the glowing review on Amazon. 😀

    Like

  2. Partings are painful .

    Like

  3. You twisted this story from start to finish, making it unpredictable and amazing.

    Like

  4. ceayr says:

    Wow, sensational.
    Brilliant misdirection, superb writing.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Excellent misdirect, Sandra. At least they have each other. Good riddance to Tom.

    janet

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Oh.. when you loose your friend and your lover at the same time.. there’s no safetynet… it will all crumble.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. liz young says:

    When she’s finished howling at the friend she’ll howl on her shoulder – true friends stay to be yelled at.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Graham Lawrence says:

    Had to read twice. Lovely fiction!

    Like

  9. paulmclem says:

    Was there another, unnamed person in this story? Wasn’t quite sure who left with Tam. Either way, I still enjoyed the flow of your tale.

    Like

    • Sandra says:

      The mistress left with Tom. The wife blamed the friend for not telling her that the husband had been having an affair. The husband thought the friend had split on him. The mistress waited outside in the car while he packed. The friend got it in the neck from all angles. Perhaps Marie-Gail was right – too ambitious a concept for 100 words. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  10. All around, wreckage. How perfectly painful.

    Like

  11. storydivamg says:

    Dear Sandra,

    Good work as usual. I like your abstract take on the prompt.

    To me, it seems that you bit off a little too much in trying to add a third woman to this story. It does bring a twist for the reader, but in 100 words, the addition of a mistress when we are all assuming that Lou has been the adulterer is too much to adequately explain. (And now I feel as though I’m not doing a good job at explaining my objection.)

    Anyway, I do like the concept, and it is a good story even if not quite up to your usual delivery.

    All my best,
    MG

    Like

    • Sandra says:

      Interesting that you think I attempted to ‘add a third woman’ to the story, MG. The third woman was the pivotal point of the story. It’s the eternal dilemma. You know your best friend’s husband is having an affair. Nobody will ever thank you for telling them this, but neither will they see that your silence was an attempt not to muddy the waters of their possibly already troubled relationship. Damned if you do, and damned if you don’t. And, it appears, damned if you ‘bite off more than you can chew’ and try to get this concept across in 100 words. Only joking, of course; I appreciate your candour. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      • storydivamg says:

        I do get it, Sandra. And I fully understand the dilemma. I’m in a similar situation right now (thankfully with life circumstance other than an extra-marital affair). My issue with the story is that the conundrum seems to need more than 100 words for explanation. This is solely my opinion, of course, and that in no way diminishes the fact that I always look forward to reading your work.

        Cheers!

        Liked by 1 person

  12. No great loss to either of these girls. I’m sure they’ll make up. 🙂

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  13. Dale says:

    I have been that silent one. You are so right, you are damned if you do, and damned if you don’t. Well done!

    Like

  14. I’m never forget my best friend’s husband came on to me at my very own wedding. I told her, because I thought I should. She didn’t speak to me again until they divorced.

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  15. Well, that was a mess she should just back away from. She needs to let the couple work out things for themselves and end her part in it. It’s a mess and not of her making. The wife should have realized something was going on and is probably looking for someone else to blame. Well written as always, Sandra. 🙂

    Like

  16. Sad story. Convoluted relationships, as ever. Trust no-one.

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  17. What a terribly painful scene! Well-captured emotions, and superb re-direction of the reader’s preconceptions.

    Like

  18. I didn’t comment earlier because I needed to “rest” on this one. Took three readings to get it straight in my mind and then read the comments. I think your story is very well done ~ it just took a bit to get the characters straight. May I never be in this situation. Cheers!

    Like

  19. I thought it was great although I didn’t get that she had know about an affair, I thought she was having the affair with the husband. But I loved the unexpected twist at the end when it all became clear. I loved it. Yes you are dammed if you do and dammed if you don’t.

    Like

  20. gravadee says:

    Am not sure, as of its related to the picture, but as a write up its beautiful and painful

    Like

    • Sandra says:

      I prefer to take an abstract or tangential approach to the photo prompt, Gravadee, so the motivation here was in the titled. A wrecked building, a wrecked marriage, and a wrecked relationship. Thanks anyway! 🙂

      Like

  21. wildbilbo says:

    Ah – I struggled with this to start with, as I figured there was some third, unseen figure (turns out it was the mistress), but couldn’t quite work out the angles. Saw your explanation earlier, and re-read.

    With that context, it makes perfect sense!

    Regardless, some great dramatic dialogue here.
    KT

    Like

  22. rgayer55 says:

    In my opinion, spilling the bean about the cheater helps no one. I did it once and ruined two relationships. Now, I’m a see no evil, hear no evil type of monkey.

    Like

  23. Jan Brown says:

    Great twist, Sandra. I hope the friend will just stay and accept the wife’s anger, let her grieve, yell, hurl obscenities, etc., and fix her cups of tea and glasses of wine.

    Like

  24. draliman says:

    A tangled situation you’ve painted here. Very good!

    Like

  25. i b arora says:

    more often than not the relations survive on make-belief perceptions.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. erinleary says:

    Tom’s a right arse but telling her friend is a no win situation. I swear, people are a lot of work. Best to stick with words…well done.

    Like

  27. Great dialogue; I could feel the knife to the heart. You evoked so much more story than seems possible in 100 words. Bravo!

    Like

  28. Amy Reese says:

    I think you can always tell when you see them together. That was an effective line. Great dialogue and wonderfully written story, Sandra!

    Like

  29. Lovely tale of betrayal. Felt the knife twist. Well done!

    Like

  30. Margaret says:

    A tangled mess tightly told in 100 words. Well done, Sandra. It’s sad that the poor girl has to shoulder the blame – she couldn’t win here.

    Like

  31. Oliana says:

    Very cunning, Sandra!! I had no idea it was headed in this direction. I love being surprised in a novel or story…brilliant!

    Like

  32. As others have said, I like the twist at the end, although I had to reread it to make sure of things. That’s a terrible dilemma for the friend to be in and there’s really no way to win that one: by telling her or not telling her.

    Like

  33. Ula says:

    What great tension and emotion. At first I thought the friend was the mistress. An awful situation to find oneself in. Wonderfully written.

    Like

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