An Old Soul – Friday Fictioneers, March 2017

Posted on March 15, 2017 by Sandra

Copyright Jennifer Pendergast

From the moment of his birth, my grandson was old.  And wise.

From his crib, he fixed me with an unwavering gaze as we locked fingers on the blue satin-edged blanket.  I felt humbled… instantaneously stripped of layers of attitudes, beliefs and defences garnered over the years.

In her post-natal euphoria, my daughter didn’t see what was as clear as daylight to me.

You’d only to look into his contemplative, all-knowing eyes, to see he was here on unfinished business of some nature.

I just never, for one moment, imagined the business would take so short a time to complete.


A delightful surprise to have the Friday Fictioneers prompt arrive at my laptop a whole hour early this week.  There’s a lot to be said for Daylight Saving.  Thank you for hosting our weekly get-togethers, Rochelle.  🙂

About Sandra

I used to cruise the French waterways with my husband four or five months a year, and wrote fiction and poetry. Now I live on the beautiful Dorset coast, enjoying the luxury of being able to have a cat, cultivating an extensive garden and getting involved in the community. I still write fiction, but only when the spirit moves me - which isn't as often as before. I love animals, F1 motor racing, French bread and my husband, though not necessarily in that order.
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105 Responses to An Old Soul – Friday Fictioneers, March 2017

  1. neilmacdon says:
    March 15, 2017 at 9:06 am

    This is full of your usual menace and disquiet. I always enjoy your stories

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  2. Jessie Ansons says:
    March 15, 2017 at 9:16 am

    So heart-breaking that last line! What a beautiful story captured in just a few lines.

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  3. neelwritesblog says:
    March 15, 2017 at 9:20 am

    Such beautiful weaving of a cute little tale.

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  4. rogershipp says:
    March 15, 2017 at 10:02 am

    Left me wanting to know much more! Well done.

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  5. michael1148humphris says:
    March 15, 2017 at 10:09 am

    I am worried, I fear for the daughter and her child. Grandmother it seems has an agenda.

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  6. rochellewisoff says:
    March 15, 2017 at 10:14 am

    Dear Sandra,

    You left me wondering what unfinished business he completed. Does this mean the child died young? Or someone else paid for wrongdoing? Well written.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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  7. Martin Cororan says:
    March 15, 2017 at 10:17 am

    Very good. Like the best of this type of succinct fiction it hints at something huge over the horizon…

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  8. Snow's Fissures and Fractures says:
    March 15, 2017 at 10:54 am

    What a heartbreak you offered this week. Beautifully done.

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  9. Dale says:
    March 15, 2017 at 11:20 am

    That went right to my gut! It is exactly what we felt at Austin’s birth. And he was here for less than eight months… Beautifully told.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  10. ceayr says:
    March 15, 2017 at 11:40 am

    Wow, brilliant!
    Although it is not at all funny, the end of your story made me laugh with delight, it is just so good.

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  11. Tamal says:
    March 15, 2017 at 11:45 am

    It’s a great story.

    Liked by 1 person

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  12. jellico84 says:
    March 15, 2017 at 11:56 am

    What a rich and deeply moving write this week, Sandra. You captured so very much in so few words. Still processing all the emotions this evoked, know the feelings all to well.

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  13. Rowena says:
    March 15, 2017 at 11:57 am

    Very well written and my heart almost stopped with the last line…how tragic!
    xx Rowena

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  14. Rommy says:
    March 15, 2017 at 12:52 pm

    Filled with so much love, making that last sentence even more of a heart breaker.

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  15. yarnspinnerr says:
    March 15, 2017 at 12:59 pm

    I read it as unfinished business for the good of humanity and was sorry for her mother. Great read as always.

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    • Sandra says:
      March 15, 2017 at 1:06 pm

      I think that’s pretty close to the way I intended it to be construed. It was a difficult concept to get across, the fact that the final touches to the cycle might be as much for other people’s enrichment as for your own. Thank you for commenting.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  16. Siobhan McNamara says:
    March 15, 2017 at 1:16 pm

    Beautiful, deep and heart-breaking – quite an achievement in 100 words

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  17. James says:
    March 15, 2017 at 1:26 pm

    Certainly sounds ominous. There to send Grandpa on his final trip to the pearly gates?

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  18. Iain Kelly says:
    March 15, 2017 at 2:44 pm

    Definitely an ominous atmosphere and tragedy in the air. Great writing.

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  19. Jade M. Wong says:
    March 15, 2017 at 2:53 pm

    Oh no, that’s such a heartbreaking ending. I love your ability to say so much in so few words.

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  20. writelindy says:
    March 15, 2017 at 4:27 pm

    What a wonderful story Sandra. So much in so few words.

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  22. Lynn Love says:
    March 15, 2017 at 6:28 pm

    Womderful and wonderfuly sad. You did so much in so few words. A little person with such a lot to accomplish before he left the people who loved him. So very good, Sandra

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  23. nonsmokingladybug says:
    March 15, 2017 at 6:36 pm

    He sounds like a very special child.

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  24. Magaly Guerrero says:
    March 15, 2017 at 6:41 pm

    This child is such a promising soul that when I got to then end, I wanted to cry. Devastating… and beautiful.

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  25. J Hardy Carroll says:
    March 15, 2017 at 7:18 pm

    Excellent story. Tense and menacing.

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  26. FabricatingFiction says:
    March 15, 2017 at 7:19 pm

    Ooh so many questions! I’m worried for them all!

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  27. sustainabilitea says:
    March 15, 2017 at 7:37 pm

    You told the story and set the atmosphere beautifully, Sandra, leaving us to read in what we would.

    janet

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  29. justjoyfulness says:
    March 16, 2017 at 4:41 am

    I have always felt the duration of a life is unimportant and therefore I am bemused by modern man’s fixation for prolonging one’s life. 🙂 What a beautiful story Sandra. The last line just took it to another level.

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  30. draliman says:
    March 16, 2017 at 1:01 pm

    I see from other comments what happened, but of course my first thought was “alien using birth to enter world undetected” 🙂
    Great story either way!

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  31. Sarah Potter Writes says:
    March 16, 2017 at 2:14 pm

    Just so sad, and there I was thinking you were writing a sweet story about a newborn …until the last line, at which point I realised that the story had been full of subtle foreshadowing from the start D: Jolly well done, as per usual.

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  32. Liz Young says:
    March 16, 2017 at 2:27 pm

    Ye gods, how sad. Fortunately my own ‘old soul’ son reached adulthood and is now a father.

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  33. Michael Wynn says:
    March 16, 2017 at 4:16 pm

    Very moving Sandra. Just the concept of a short time span intensifies just about everything.

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  34. Life Lessons of a Dog Lover says:
    March 16, 2017 at 5:34 pm

    Beautifully touching. I was captivated from the first line.

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  36. HonieBriggs says:
    March 16, 2017 at 9:58 pm

    Totally didn’t see that coming, Sandra. Lulled into soft satin sweetness. Then WHAM! You know just how to do it.

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  37. Joy Pixley says:
    March 16, 2017 at 10:40 pm

    Deeply moving, and such a sad ending.

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  38. Keith's Ramblings says:
    March 17, 2017 at 10:36 am

    There is something a little sinister about to happen in the future methinks! Deliciously dark.

    Click to read my 100 words!

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  39. rgayer55 says:
    March 17, 2017 at 10:57 am

    That little bugger. He can’t fool Grandma. Who knows what he could’ve accomplished if given more time.

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  40. Clare Hempstead says:
    March 17, 2017 at 11:18 am

    I somehow think the unfinished business was of a sinister nature! Great story.

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  41. spicedmullings says:
    March 17, 2017 at 4:48 pm

    Beautiful.
    Guess what I thought when I read it through? I thought if that is what Mary’s mother felt when she saw baby Jesus in a cradle!

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  42. goroyboy says:
    March 17, 2017 at 6:57 pm

    Intriguing Sandra. Insightful as well as with age comes the wisdom of trusting children’s unbiased innocent insight.

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  43. Sarah Ann says:
    March 17, 2017 at 7:20 pm

    This has me tingling, wondering what intrigue could follow.

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  44. patrickprinsloo says:
    March 17, 2017 at 8:32 pm

    Not sure if he’s evil or a miracle worker. That close is deliciously ambiguous.

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  45. Inside the Mind of Isadora says:
    March 17, 2017 at 9:43 pm

    My heartstrings were pulled more and more as I read your story. Tear filled eyes was where I was when it ended. Sad … Sad … Sad … but beautifully written, Sandra. Touching ..!!!
    Isadora 😎

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  46. Laurie Bell says:
    March 18, 2017 at 12:38 am

    Oh my gosh… so sad Sandra. What a heart wrenching story

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  47. Dora A. K. says:
    March 18, 2017 at 1:40 pm

    Heartbreakingly sweet, and begging to be made into a longer story.

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  48. i b arora says:
    March 18, 2017 at 2:18 pm

    there’s much left unsaid. the last line makes me uncomfortable.

    http://obliqview.blogspot.in/2017/03/tyranny-of-watch-wake-up-said-watch.html

    Liked by 1 person

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  49. joseph elon lillie says:
    March 18, 2017 at 2:31 pm

    Beautiful Sandra. Sad I think. My mind went to the loss of the child.

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  50. subroto says:
    March 19, 2017 at 1:55 am

    Such a sad and moving end. Beautifully written as always.

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  51. Dawn Quyle Landau says:
    March 20, 2017 at 2:07 am

    This one confused me a little, Sandra, though I think I’m on the right track. Does the child’s mother, in “post-natal euphoria” kill her child? Or does the child die naturally, with a karmic journey that was fulfilled? Either way, this one shook me and has left me tearful. You’re an amazing writer, so that’s a compliment… but, the first lines resonated so deeply with me, and how I feel about my own grandson, that the final lines really shook me. Very powerful story telling!

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  52. lingeringvisions by Dawn says:
    March 21, 2017 at 4:38 am

    Oh my…you’ve broken my heart.

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  53. gahlearner says:
    March 21, 2017 at 11:39 am

    Last line’s the killer. Breaks my heart. Perfect.

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  55. athling2001 says:
    March 29, 2017 at 8:48 pm

    Sad and uplifting at the same time.

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I'd love to hear your views; it reassures me I'm not talking to myself.

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