Unforgiven – Friday Fictioneers, October 2019.

Copyright Dale Rogerson

 

We pass each other on the playing-field most mornings.

I pretend it isn’t you; you pretend it isn’t me.

For different reasons, we’d both rather forget the past.  Me because of the pain, the fear, the isolation, the brink you drove me to, right here.  On this playing-field.

And you? Hopefully because of the shame, the regret.  Who knows?

This morning I found you huddled by the tennis courts, moaning, unable to move, speech slurring.

I did what anyone would. Kept you warm, called an ambulance.

Your eyes asked the question.

My lips silently answered.

I’m pretending it isn’t you.

 

I was resigned to yet another no-show – the muse having well and truly left the building.  Then in the middle of the washing-up, I yanked off the rubber gloves and tried to capture the fleeting idea before rushing out to start the day.  No time to refine, but at least it’s ‘a bum on the seat’ this week. 😉  Thanks to Rochelle for being more of a Friday Fictioneer stalwart than I’ve been just recently.

About Sandra

I used to cruise the French waterways with my husband four or five months a year, and wrote fiction and poetry. Now I live on the beautiful Dorset coast, enjoying the luxury of being able to have a cat, cultivating an extensive garden and getting involved in the community. I still write fiction, but only when the spirit moves me - which isn't as often as before. I love animals, F1 motor racing, French bread and my husband, though not necessarily in that order.
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65 Responses to Unforgiven – Friday Fictioneers, October 2019.

  1. neilmacdon says:

    Absolutely engaging, Sandra. You’ve done it again

    Like

  2. ceayr says:

    Okay, I am convinced.
    Fleeting, perhaps, unrefined, never.
    Next week I will try rubber gloves.
    But I suspect it is just you, Sandra.

    Like

  3. Tannille says:

    Said so much with so little. The muse handballed this one and you knocked it out of the park.

    Like

  4. Dear Sandra,

    You underestimate yourself, my friend. You’re certainly more than a ‘bum on the seat’. you may have written on the fly but you’ve managed a brilliant piece nonetheless. So much in a few words and shows the moral fiber of your MC. That’s MY story and I’m sticking to it. 😉

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

  5. Excellent story of aftermath. I like how you infer without telling.

    Like

  6. Doing what was necessary, promising no more. Superb storytelling Sandra.

    Here’s my story.

    Like

  7. This was a good story and well written as always, Sandra. You described deep feeling by showing and not telling. 🙂

    Like

  8. Not everyone could do that…pretend. Very thought provoking story brilliantly written.

    Like

  9. bearmkwa says:

    Deep! Liked it. It takes strength to help someone who has hurt you so deeply. It takes courage to do what your character did. Great story!

    Like

  10. Dale says:

    Let me know what happens when your muse is on point… coz this “on the fly” stuff? Absolutely superb!
    Beautifully done.

    Like

  11. Reena Saxena says:

    “I’m pretending it isn’t you.” It encapsulates the internal struggle beautifully.

    Like

  12. oneta hayes says:

    Wow! What an impact. Drives me to prayer and personal evaluation.

    Like

  13. granonine says:

    I couldn’t see where this was going until you got there–which is excellent writing, by the way 🙂

    My muse wasn’t awake either. I had to just walk away and let it come without searching, which is often the way I find an idea. This writing prompt thing has certainly stretched my imagination!

    Like

  14. Iain Kelly says:

    Expertly done, one to ponder and morals to debate.

    Like

  15. M K Zebra says:

    This definitely feels like it would be something that would really happen.

    The closest I’ve come to this is when a housemate I had pushed the landlord to serve notice to needed his car jumpstarting. Difficult to articulate the feeling of helping someone you loathe!

    Like

  16. michael1148humphris says:

    I half expected a different ending, however I preferred the one you offered,

    Like

  17. This was very well done, Sandra. Real and poignant and heartbreaking, all.

    Like

  18. msjadeli says:

    A piece of a much bigger story, but your humanity shines through, Sandra.

    Like

  19. plaridel says:

    it was a good start. hopefully, learning how to forgive would come next.

    Like

  20. You are my personal favourite. What fab writing. Loved every inch of this throat lumping story, Sandra.

    Like

  21. ddeepa says:

    Engaging read. And it’s truly beautiful how some people remain human no matter their 💔 experiences. Lovely take on the prompt. Came here from Ian Kelly’s who also did Friday Fictioneers.

    Like

  22. Liz Young says:

    Wow. So much story in 100 words!

    Like

  23. Brilliant take on the prompt

    Like

  24. 4963andypop says:

    At first I thought this was an estranged lovers piece, and I was satisfied with just the tension. But you took it a step further by injecting a moral dilemma. I hope her resolve holds, at least until the ambulance comes!

    Like

  25. pennygadd51 says:

    How do you do it, Sandra? The emotional nuances in your story are superb! I loved it!

    Like

  26. draliman says:

    You don’t have to like someone to help them out – she sounds a better person than him.

    Like

  27. It’s amazing how our humanity surfaces even when we’d rather not. You’ve captured it very well here. And isn’t it amazing how you think it’s a dud, and then suddenly a spark flicks and you’re off!

    Like

    • Sandra says:

      Thanks Eugenia. I’m grateful for every bit of inspiration I get these days, so had to be quick to encourage the spark into a flame before it was gone for ever.

      Like

  28. Love this. What do you do if someone has harmed you yet they stagger? Do you pick them up? Walk by. A question of humanity answered. A lovely job!

    Like

  29. You say you rushed it, but it turned out to be a very moving story Sandra. Filled with humanity and self discovery. I loved it.

    Like

  30. Nobbinmaug says:

    If this is you without the aid of a muse, I would hate to see what you can do while feasting from the supple teet of a fully fertile muse. That’s an odd image. I would be afraid to post in the same group as you. I already hope people don’t read mine right after they read yours. Your seemingly effortless powerful subtly amazes me every time.

    Like

  31. There are so many wonderful comments that I agree with here. It seems futile to say more.
    Brilliant writing … loved it.
    Isadora 😎

    Like

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