With You Always – Friday Fictioneers, April 2020

Copyright CE Ayr

Once I sensed my younger sister saw him too, I took it down and left it by the refuse bin, consigning it to scavengers or the elements, I cared not which.

A day later someone knocked at my door.

“Do you mind if I take that painting, there’s something about it…”

I leapt at the chance. “Not at all, please do.”

My sister noticed immediately it had gone.

“It’s funny,” she said, “I thought I could see Father in that painting.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” I said, staring at his features ingrained in the faded wallpaper where it had hung.

 

How hard it was to get this story out in a hundred words.  Re-write after re-write, changing point of view, stripping out every spare word. So with one adjective only, I give you this week’s offering. 🙂    Thanks to the mistress of words, Rochelle, the leader of Friday Fictioneers.  Stay safe, stay home, stay alive.

 

About Sandra

I used to cruise the French waterways with my husband four or five months a year, and wrote fiction and poetry. Now I live on the beautiful Dorset coast, enjoying the luxury of being able to have a cat, cultivating an extensive garden and getting involved in the community. I still write fiction, but only when the spirit moves me - which isn't as often as before. I love animals, F1 motor racing, French bread and my husband, though not necessarily in that order.
This entry was posted in Friday Fictioneers, Just Sayin' and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

65 Responses to With You Always – Friday Fictioneers, April 2020

  1. neilmacdon says:

    It’s still a good and ghostly story, Sandra

    Like

  2. Iain Kelly says:

    Are they projecting his image onto the picture, or is it something altogether spookier going on? Nice little chill Sandra.

    Like

  3. Tannille says:

    Wow, we followed the same sort of story this week. Very hard to execute in 100 words. I want to know more about their father!

    Like

  4. Reena Saxena says:

    Shhhh… he is watching from the wallpaper.

    Like

  5. ceayr says:

    What are you doing to us, Sandra?
    You entice us with hints and clues and words that nearly tell us, and then leave us wondering.
    And yet we care already.
    You are a sorceress, I think, with a magic pen

    Like

  6. Mike says:

    I felt a shiver run down my spine, nicely done Sandra.

    Like

  7. Wow, well all your careful editing produced a wonderful story, Sandra.

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Anita says:

    Father is present. Why would she want to give the painting away?
    Maybe he switched places – from the painting to the wall 🙂

    Like

  9. Varad says:

    That ending was chilling, Sandra. The editing has worked wonders in producing a complete story within 100 words.

    Like

  10. granonine says:

    Creepy and scary, and with all your editing, stripped to bare bones, it’s powerful.

    Like

  11. Dear Sandra,

    You do have a way with a story. I felt the chill in the air after reading. Well done as always.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

  12. What an amazing piece. I love the sense of creeping horror.

    Like

  13. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear Sandra,

    Time for the sisters to take out that wall. Don’t you love it when you bust your ass to make the story work and then sit back and read the comments and realise it did? You are bloody brilliant, girl. This one has me wanting to help with the demolition work.

    Stay low, D.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sandra says:

      Aww thank you, Doug. It’s lovely having you back on the scene again. Hope the trajectory to normality continues in NZ. Take care.

      Like

      • dmmacilroy says:

        Hi Sandra,

        Your writing is the Siren’s song that has me tied to WordPress’ mast. (Yes, NZ, knock wood, is doing well thus far. So good in fact, that we’re slipping under the world’s radar.)

        Stay well and enjoy the feedback of the faithful.

        Love,

        Doug

        Liked by 1 person

    • Doug! I was thinking about you the other day. No reason or explanation. Nice to “see” you.

      Liked by 1 person

      • dmmacilroy says:

        Hi Alicia,

        Perhaps it was because I’ve been mining stories of old for my ‘diary of a pandemic’ entires. I’ve been reading many of your comments and thinking fondly of you and the ‘Old times’. Thanks for saying hello .

        Cheers,

        Doug

        P.S. (And think you, too, Sandra, for being kind enough to host this virtual meet-up of old friends. It’s your stellar writing that’s responsible:)

        Liked by 1 person

  14. wmqcolby says:

    Ohhhh. Kind of a spooky ending and good, too! All good, actually.
    Great stuff, Sandra!

    Like

  15. Spooky to the core. Made me salivating for more. Lovely story Sanda. Hope all is good at your neck of the woods.

    Like

    • Sandra says:

      My immediate neck of the woods is pretty low on the Covid statistics, but as the weather improves and the lock-down potentially eases we’re expecting a surge shortly. Stay safe.

      Like

  16. Doug nailed it and isn’t it good to have him surface again? I remember those days of pruning and counting and pruning and counting. I wonder what will be on the wall of the person who took the painting and how long before it gets thrown out again.

    janet

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sandra says:

      It’s lovely to have him on the circuit again. And lovely to hear from you again Janet. Hope you’re settling down in your new home.

      Liked by 1 person

      • We’ve settled in, Sandra, although not everything is in its place nor am I sure where “its place” is for everything. But that can be figured out over the next days/weeks. Right now I’m enjoying not having to rush around the way I had to do at the other end to get ready to move by the earlier date. 🙂

        Like

  17. All your word-snipping just made the story precise and tight. It turned out beautifully.

    Like

  18. Very eerie. An excellent story!

    Like

  19. pennygadd51 says:

    Wow, what a cracking story! The father must have totally dominated the two girls. I wonder if they’ll ever fully recover. Fabulous writing, Sandra.

    Like

  20. Sue says:

    A hint of the spooky…

    Like

  21. msjadeli says:

    Chilling and my worst nightmare! Sounds like unfinished business…

    Like

  22. Nobbinmaug says:

    All the time they thought their father was dead, he was trapped in the wall.

    I’ve never heard of a haunted wall before. Now, I wonder what it is about that spot.

    Like

  23. Dale says:

    Wonderful writing, Sandra. You manage to draw us in so that we wonder just what spell you have incanted! It’s funny, I didn’t see it spooky so much as wistful.

    Like

  24. maria says:

    This story is somewhat a cross between The Grudge and Walled In. Haunting and unsettling tale, Sandra!

    Like

  25. draliman says:

    Ghostly-mysterious, wishful thinking, or was he actually there…? Nice one!

    Like

  26. Lynn Love says:

    Fantastic, Sandra. Father certainly left an impression on his girls, didn’t he? Not a good one.

    Like

  27. But is he there to protect or torment? A lovely little ghost story, Sandra.

    Like

  28. James McEwan says:

    I had a slight laugh here. Your story makes me wonder if ghost are merely a construct within our imagination.

    Like

  29. The man still haunts them. Wow, that was chilling and beautifully penned, edits and all. Stay safe as well.

    Like

  30. Puts a twist on deceased loved ones watching over us for sure. It seems dumping the painting didn’t get rid of the ghost.

    Like

  31. Nicely told, Sandra. She seems doomed to seeing his image whatever measures she takes to avoid it.

    Like

  32. Obviously, Daddy isn’t going anywhere. Nice one, Sandra.

    Like

  33. A well honed ghost story, I like the tension that you build up. Not a word wasted.

    Like

  34. tedstrutz says:

    This took two reads. Good one, Sandra.

    Like

  35. Wow, really spooky. You did a great job in 100 words. Do you think it would make a short story? Thinking Alfred Hitchcock magazine 😀

    Like

  36. subroto says:

    If he is on the wall then maybe he is just plastered.
    Terrific and spooky take on the prompt.

    Like

I'd love to hear your views; it reassures me I'm not talking to myself.

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