The Last Word (Friday Fictioneers, August 2013)

copyright Jennifer Pendergast

Welcome to Friday Fictioneers again – the first one for August!  How quickly the summer is passing by. I suspect many of us will be writing along the same theme this week.  My first attempt pretty much mirrored Rochelle’s submission and I abandoned it.  So although it’s the broadly same theme, I tried to put a different slant on it.

“You don’t think it’s a bit… er… big?”

“First it was the blue and yellow stripes,” he’d shouted, “then it was the clanging noise…are you never satisfied, woman?”

Mother Nature had held up her  hands.  “You asked my opinion… and another thing…”

God had sighed.  “Now what?”

“I just wondered about chemical resistance, you know what mankind is like.”

God folded his arms glowering in silence.

“Oh forget it, just smaller then,” she’d sighed.

Aeons later, he rolled up his sleeves and began work on the prototype again.

“I hope you’re not going to say I told you so,” he muttered.

“Would I ever?….”

This week I’ve incorporated a new page on this site – Book Worm.  If you’ve got the time or the inclination to check out the first post, it’s at Garden Tomes.  Feel free to add your contribution.

About Sandra

I cruise the French waterways with my husband four or five months a year, and write fiction and poetry. I love animals, F1 motor racing, French bread and my husband, though not necessarily in that order.
This entry was posted in Friday Fictioneers, Just Sayin' and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

75 Responses to The Last Word (Friday Fictioneers, August 2013)

  1. Dear Sandra,

    You didn’t have to abandon your first story because it was similar. Obviously great minds think alike. 😉 It’s a very real problem that looms large on our horizon and I couldn’t not write about it. “…you know what mankind is like.” A telling line and a good one.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

  2. high five and raspberries says:

    Classic “I told you so” all wrapped up in a funny, yet sad story. Sandra! This is perfect !

    Like

  3. misskzebra says:

    Mother Nature and God talking, very interesting concept.

    Like

  4. Dee says:

    I loved this one Sandra, I could just imagine the conversation, so typical 🙂
    Dee

    Like

  5. Adam Ickes says:

    Love it. Gave me a good chuckle to start the morning.

    Like

  6. Excellent as always, Sandra.

    Like

  7. vb holmes says:

    “Big”…”blue and yellow stripes”…”clanging noise”: sounds like God had over-the-top plans for some members of the order hymenoptera which rankled Mother Nature’s sensibilities.

    Like

  8. howanxious says:

    It is sad that the one who is considered to be the wisest is responsible for the degradation of the ecosystem. Interesting tale and quite ingenious because I wasn’t expecting anything(a conversation) like that. 🙂

    Like

  9. I hope Mother Nature straightens him out. Not to be disrespectful but he’s blown it more than a few times! Creative and relevant piece, Sandra.

    Like

  10. Good job of wrapping insight in humor, Sandra.

    janet

    Like

  11. Joe Owens says:

    We humans will mess anything up given enough discretion. It just is the way we are.

    Like

  12. Linda Vernon says:

    I like that Mother nature can hold her own against the Big Guy! HA! Cute story Sandra. 😀

    Like

  13. elmowrites says:

    You and Rochelle have two sides of the same coin here – I love the character you put into this piece – you got me laughing and thinking at the same time, which is a great way to put out a message. Long live the bees!
    If I might offer a concrit, the tense of the first part (he had sighed, she had laughed, etc) had me stumbling a bit. Might be cleaner as simple past (he sighed, she laughed, whatever), although I do see you want to distinguish then and now. Just an observation, it didn’t detract from my enjoyment.

    Like

  14. Sandra says:

    That’s a fairly standard problem with trying to do ‘then’ and ‘now’ so I’d edited to take a couple of ‘had’s’ out of it to try and mitigate the problem. Obviously not enough. 😉

    Like

  15. Hi Sandra,
    God should have known, Mother is always right. Creative and heavenly take on the photo. Ron

    Like

  16. Each week I enjoy your stories, this one is no exception.

    Like

  17. JackieP says:

    Great conversation. 🙂

    Like

  18. zennjennc says:

    excellent conversation

    Like

  19. kz says:

    lol very clever! 🙂 i loved the conversation between God and Mother Nature. I suppose behind every great man is a brilliant woman ^^

    Like

  20. Jan Brown says:

    I love the interaction between God and Mother Nature!

    Like

  21. A match made in heaven. Great story.

    Like

  22. rckjones says:

    Loving the adorable husband/wife feel of the relationship between God and Mother Nature. Delightful!

    Like

  23. EagleAye says:

    Love it. I imagine the creative team of God and Mother Nature had to have some fractious moments during the process. Great fun with this one.

    Like

  24. God is a man?!?!
    Who would have thunk it?
    Cool story.

    Like

  25. Honie Briggs says:

    Sandra, This dialogue is terrific!

    Like

  26. troy P. says:

    I loved being a fly on the wall, so to speak, (vs. bee) to this little chat between the two – genius!

    Like

  27. JKBradley says:

    If lost, He wouldn’t stop to ask for directions either.

    Like

  28. unspywriter says:

    It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature! 😉 A light, but good, take on a serious problem.

    Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/everything-dies/

    Like

  29. wmqcolby says:

    Interesting that the bee actually, according to modern-day engineers, can’t fly (or isn’t supposed to).
    Love your writing, Sandra! Always a go-to story each week.

    Like

  30. Mother knows best! I loved this take. You went beyond the photo and created another world. Nice!

    Like

  31. annisik51 says:

    A conversation between God and Mother Nature. I like that. Best bit is the comment about humankind. Ann

    Like

  32. I was going to say that you were brave to write such a dialogue, but it seems the company we keep on this platform is enlightened enough to not be defended. I wish people could experience where I live at present. It would be blasphemy! Glad I found you guys. It’s a relief to be able to speak and be safe.

    Like

    • Sandra says:

      This is the second time I’ve written a piece in this vein, and I must confess I do wonder whether some people might be offended. In my defence (and without getting heavy about it) I’d say that my God has a sense of humour. I’m sorry that you live in a culture where you’re not free to speak and write freely. (And equally sorry if I’ve offended anyone.)

      Like

      • I’m sure you didn’t. Look forward to your contribution next week. It’s challenging to come up with ideas that are creative and if it pushes boundaries, so much the better.

        Like

  33. That’s great. Really enjoyable. But aren’t we meant to writing fiction?

    Like

  34. Dear Sandra,

    You always are right on the money with your stories. I love your take on the design process. No wonder it took 4.5 billion years.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    Like

  35. summerstommy2 says:

    Good one Sandra I like the idea that God and Mother Nature met to discuss such things.

    Like

  36. hmv says:

    Funny, yet poignant… I’d never thought of God and Mother Nature as ‘partners in crime’ – very interesting idea 🙂

    Like

  37. pattisj says:

    Cute story! The clanging noise…love it!

    Like

  38. I loved this! Being right is the best!

    Like

I'd love to hear your views; it reassures me I'm not talking to myself.

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