Mr Darcy (Friday Fictioneers, November 2013)

Copyright Sean Fallon

Woken up to snow here in central France, which is giving way now to steady, miserable rain and sleet! 

We’re in the midst of our annual ‘snowbird’ run, and have about a thousand  kilometres still to cover before tomorrow afternoon. 

I was grateful to Rochelle therefore,  for a sneak preview of this week’s Friday Fictioneers prompt, enabling me to just post and run before we continue heading south again today. 

So, channelling Jane Austen… 😉

Mr Darcy

“I need a man with a fine brain and a sharp intellect,” cried the eldest sister.

“And I need a man with the courageous heart of a lion,” said the middle one.

“I just need a man,” said the youngest.  “A stud-muffin would adequately suffice, and Mr Darcy, I believe, is one such”.  (She was, you understand, a woman much given to plain speaking.)

So in their customarily civilised, even-handed fashion, the sisters resolved their rivalry for the attentions of their would-be suitor, though ultimately none of them accompanied him to the altar.

Darcy, understandably, was fairly cut up.

About Sandra

I used to cruise the French waterways with my husband four or five months a year, and wrote fiction and poetry. Now I live on the beautiful Dorset coast, enjoying the luxury of being able to have a cat, cultivating an extensive garden and getting involved in the community. I still write fiction, but only when the spirit moves me - which isn't as often as before. I love animals, F1 motor racing, French bread and my husband, though not necessarily in that order.
This entry was posted in Friday Fictioneers, Just Sayin' and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

97 Responses to Mr Darcy (Friday Fictioneers, November 2013)

  1. Dear Sandra,

    It was purely selfish on my part to give you a sneak preview. Had I not, we’d have missed out on your story.
    Poor Mr. Darcy, I’d say he ended up beside himself. In the end I think if one sister had chosen him he’d have to deal with two sisters-in-law. Stellar writing as always.

    Safe travels.




  2. Ye Pirate says:

    Hee hee…as he would be! Well-crafted!


  3. claireful says:

    Ha ha – loved that last line. Well done Sandra.


  4. Humor? No death? The snow much have gone to your laptop and I’m glad it did. I hope things warm up and dry off soon. Have a wonderful time.



  5. That’s a perfect ending. It seems that every sister got the parts that she wanted most. 😉


  6. Danny James says:

    Another good one!



  7. misskzebra says:

    Actually laughed out loud. Just brilliant, and very clever.


  8. kz says:

    lol loved this. quite a twist on one of my favorite novels 🙂


  9. elmowrites says:

    Laughing out loud this morning! Thanks for posting your story – wouldn’t have missed this one!


  10. H. Ken Abell says:

    Okay, that’s just fantastically done — nice use of the figurative…


  11. Fantastical! Really made me laugh. How can you be so clever????


  12. mike olley says:

    Haha! Love the humour.


  13. Steve Lakey says:

    A wonderful story. The last line was excellent!


  14. helenmidgley says:

    Oh I loved the the ‘Pride and Prejudice’ take, brilliant 🙂


  15. Poor Mr. Stud-muffin Darcy. 😦


  16. draliman says:

    Great story, brilliant ending! Poor Mr Darcy 😦
    I also loved the mixture of “stud-muffin” and “adequately suffice” – the old and the new 🙂


  17. Well, like I wasn’t feeling insecure enough today, Sandra, now I feel like a totally-unlettered yokel. I thought you meant Steve Austin, the wrestler. Okay, back to high school to read Jane Austen! (I sort of get it even still.)


  18. What a break-up for Mr Darcy… 🙂


  19. Kent Bonham says:

    Hahahahaha! THAT’S how it’s done, Sandra! Super-duper!


  20. A clever story, Sandra. And very funny.


  21. Jan Brown says:

    Ummm…I notice the arms and hands are already gone. Not to one of the Bennett sister, then???


  22. Hope the weather improves… but no doubt, the food makes up for it! Poor Mr. Darcy. While humorous, there’s that wicked edge of yours. Clever, Sandra.


  23. Linda Vernon says:

    Ha ha!! I can’t wait for part 4!


  24. Jim Kane says:

    I love it!
    We do fall apart at times!



  25. Glynis says:

    This was a hoot! Great take on one of my favorite stories, lovely!


  26. hugmamma says:

    Pride and Prejudice revamped. Never tire of…Miss Elizabeth and her Mr. Darcy. Great tale of romance and sibling rivalry…


    • Sandra says:

      I’m not much of an Austen fan myself. The prose is a bit over-elaborated for me, but I can see why some people really like her writing. Thanks for reading.


      • hugmamma says:

        Guess I was speaking more towards Colin Firth and Sir Lawrence Olivier as the Messrs. Darcy…and Keira Knightley and Greer Garson as the Misses Elizabeths…than I was Jane Austen. Haven’t read her in quite some time. Although I’m certain I was a fan when first I read her Pride and Prejudice. You know…when I was a young girl whose thoughts would turn to romantic notions of the opposite sex. I’m a sucker for…good old-fashion romance.


  27. zookyworld says:

    Now this is a creative compromise, and each sister gets to take home the part they want most. Poor Mr. Darcy. But great story!


  28. Indira says:

    Poor Mr Darcy. Fantastic story Sandra.


  29. plaridel says:

    brilliant! i think ms. austen herself would enjoy reading it.


  30. Helena Hann-Basquiat says:

    “She was, you understand, a woman much given to plain speaking” — how very Jane, darling. The whole tone was perfect.


  31. EagleAye says:

    Ouch! I’m certain poor Mr. Darcy went to pieces, literally, over the dispute. I hope they were kind enough to get him drunk first before they…divided the spoils. Great story and great idea!


  32. I love Jane Austen’s humour, Sandra, and your story, with its unique style, is just as enjoyable! FitzWilliam Darcy is indeed a stud-muffin and if he’s still available, I’m …. oh drat, I’m not!! *wail*

    Very cleverly done. 🙂


  33. unspywriter says:

    So, I guess it goes to show you it isn’t a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife. Great homage to one of my favorite books.

    Here’s mine:


  34. annisik51 says:

    Stud-muffin? Where on earth did you find that word? Of course, to be authentic to Austen (whom I first read at 14, when in the books ‘which’ was spelled ‘whitch’) Darcy would have had to have been divided into 5 parts. Very witty, clever story! Now, what are you up to in tht boat of yours?


    • Sandra says:

      Stud muffin? Who knows. The muse dropped by in its usual fashion and extended my vocabulary with words I didn’t know I knew… 🙂 Just passed through France, checking the boat out on the way to Spain. Sunshine, yay!


  35. rgayer55 says:

    Divide and conquer, I suppose. Poor Mr. Darcy. I got a good chuckle out of this one, Sandra.


  36. vbholmes says:

    I do believe “stud-muffin” might be a bit after Jane’s time and would, perhaps, be a source of embarrassment to Mr. Darcy–but, then again, you never can tell. Fun story, Sandra.


  37. Not very kind to cut mankind into pieces, but a great story gathered from the pieces in the picture. Amzing!


  38. Sandra, this is wonderful! Poor Darcy, he would have made a suitable stud-muffin. I enjoyed your take and your well executed story.


  39. emmylgant says:

    Wonderfully clever!


  40. sandraconner says:

    What an excellent example of “slap-stick comedy” in words only. The last line alone is a treasure.


  41. Hi Sandra,
    Sunday, and I’m finally getting to your story. I believe Jane Austen would be proud of this sister story, and it fits perfectly with the parts in the photo. I tried to come up with a story based on the parts, but couldn’t and now I’m glad because your story is more than the sum of its parts. Ron


  42. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear Sandra,

    Sorry to be so late arriving. I need one of my time machines. Even without having read your story’s twin, I enjoyed it for its ‘cut to the quick’ progression and resolution. Makes me want to see what I’ve been missing re Ms. Austen.




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