Fantasy Island – Friday Fictioneers, January 2015

 

Fantasy Island

The train journey is taking forever;  bored, she starts spinning one of her fantasies.

Someone’s holding a gun to her head.

“Kiss either one – you choose.”

She opens her eyes.

Opposite her sits a vicar with a monumental overbite; next to him a fat man, drooling as he dozes.

“Kiss??? You mean properly? Like…tongues and things?”

“Yup.”

She looks again. The vicar’s engrossed in his pocket bible; the fat man snoring.

“Too gross, no way.

The safety catch clicks off.

“Then you all die.”

Eyes still closed, the fat man speaks.

“For chrissakes woman, do something … I think he’s serious.”

I’m hoping that’s a railway station at the bottom of the picture, but in any case, Rochelle exhorts us to write about ‘what we see’, so I have.  On this first get-together of the Friday Fictioneers for 2015, can I wish all friends and colleagues a very happy, healthy and successful year.  I’m over the moon this morning as I just heard I’ve won another competition, this time in Writing Magazine.  I hope I’m not peaking too early…  🙂

 

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About Sandra

I cruise the French waterways with my husband four or five months a year, and write fiction and poetry. I love animals, F1 motor racing, French bread and my husband, though not necessarily in that order.
This entry was posted in Friday Fictioneers, Just Sayin' and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

99 Responses to Fantasy Island – Friday Fictioneers, January 2015

  1. Dear Sandra,

    The vicar with the monumental overbite had me reeling. Such a clear picture and a clever story. I read it twice and it was even better the second time.

    Congratulations on another win. You’re becoming quite a tour de force and I’m proud to know you. 😉

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sandra says:

      Thank you Rochelle! 🙂 The winning story was one I’m proud of, and I don’t often say that, because I almost always see something I could have done better. I’ll let you know when it’s published.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Such a vivid story, I was there on the train. Great work, Sandra.
    Big congratulation on your win, what a way to start a year.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. First congratulations on your win. .it has to be well-deserved. To me this one talks about connected fantasies.. or is it really the fat man and the vicar that’s fantasy.. I hope at least she doesn’t have to kiss that vicar.. it’s not easy with such an overbite…

    Liked by 1 person

  4. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear Sandra,

    Congratulations on your win and on this stellar little tale of fantasy and forced foolery. I like the fat man. Kiss him. (The priest is a cold fish and has previous instructions proscribing having much in the way of fun.)

    Aloha,

    Doug

    Liked by 1 person

  5. emmylgant says:

    Very entertaining! Some choice…
    It’s all innocuous until the last line. Terriffic. And congratulations on the good news!

    Like

  6. Oh, this is so brilliant. I was absolutely sure at the beginning we were inside her head. And then I was absolutely sure we weren’t when the sat man spoke, and now I have no idea. And well done on the win – you deserve it, with writing like this.
    Claire

    Like

  7. Sandra says:

    Hi Claire, whilst I was having a coffee in the shopping centre, I was observing someone at a nearby table – not fantasising I hasten to add – and it struck me how funny it would be if the object of your attention suddenly made it clear that they knew what you were thinking. And how uncomfortable that might be… the realisation that someone could be privy to your thoughts, dreams and fantasies. Thanks for reading and your lovely comment.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. And Sandra’s back in fine form! Monumental overbite vs. drool? Talk about caught between a rock and a hard place.
    Many congratulations on your well-deserved writing award. No, definitely not peaking, just continuing the ascent!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Oh my! Dreams really do come true!

    Like

  10. Great tale, powerfully written.

    Like

  11. rogershipp says:

    I could see the two men- weather I wanted to or not! (and congratulations!)

    Like

  12. Ewwwwww, you’ve now polluted my day completely, but so deftly and with that soupçon of uncertainty as to whether real or not. So happy for you about the win. You’re on a richly-deserved roll (although that sounds a bit as though you’re posed on a rather large bit of bread.) Ah, well, you get my drift.

    janet

    Like

  13. elmowrites says:

    Congrats on another win – there’s a reason for them, you’re writing is brilliant, understated (the monumental overbite, for example, tells us everything without wasting time or words) and clever. Another masterful story this week, thank you for sharing it.

    Like

  14. Well, Sandra, this was a wonderful bit of hilarity! Got me thinking about Mel Brooks style humour. That last line was just great.

    Like

  15. You’ve really packed in the imagery in this piece and it flows brilliantly. The ending packs such a punch as well, I thoroughly enjoyed the read.

    Like

  16. penshift says:

    Okay, that gave me a good giggle… Particularly since I was thinking ‘just kiss the gunman then!’

    Like

  17. Ah, I do love train travel but this is too much. Very clever.
    I assume you do know that every time you win a competition, lots of others experience the pangs of failure!

    Like

  18. storydivamg says:

    First, congratulations on the win, Sandra. You are a wonderful writer, and the accolades are well deserved.

    This was a great response to the photo prompt this week. On seeing it, I wondered how many people unfamiliar with Chicago would notice the L tracks in the shot. Glad to see that you did. I felt compelled to write fairly literally from that point myself. Although we all have different backgrounds and experiences, it seems to me that trains are a universal topic, one on which we all have a story to tell.

    All my best,
    Marie Gail

    Like

    • Sandra says:

      The lower building just looked like a station to me. Sometimes the photo prompts are a mystery to me, but there you go… write what you think you see. Thanks for reading and commenting.

      Like

      • storydivamg says:

        Absolutely! When I first started playing along last year, I was frequently flummoxed by photos that were completely out of my personal experience. Then I began to embrace the idea of writing from whatever experience or topic the picture brought to mind. With a group of writers from around the world, this is the only way that we could possibly all respond to every photo prompt. Literal takes on each photo would be impossible (as well as incredibly boring).

        Thanks for being an astute observer and creative force, Sandra. I always enjoy what you bring to the table.

        All my best,
        Marie Gail

        Liked by 1 person

  19. Sandra,
    That was great. I like the line, “like tongues and things?” 🙂 Congratulations on the Writing Magazine win. You definitely deserve it.
    -David

    Like

  20. paulmclem says:

    Excellent piece, Sandra. Pulled me right inside the page. Oh, and congrats on the Writing Mag win. I subscribe so I’ll need to read your latest masterpiece 🙂

    Like

  21. Sandra, this has been the most entertaining thing in my life in quite some time! I laughed while I read it. I laughed at the ending. I laughed after I read it and I laughed some more with each comment! Haha! Thank you so much! If laughter is the best medicine, then I do believe my arthritus should be healed. Haha!!

    Like

  22. misskzebra says:

    Congratulations on the win Sandra! I’m sure it was very well deserved! 🙂

    Secondly, I feel for someone to have daydreams like that is almost sadistic! I’m personally very indulgent in all of mine.

    Like

  23. Can she just kiss them on the cheek?

    Liked by 1 person

  24. plaridel says:

    one of your best. not a word wasted. very, very smooth.

    Like

  25. Margaret says:

    Congratulations on your win, and on another intriguing little 100 worder here. I’ll vote for the fat man – he’s obviously on her wave length.She can wipe his mouth first.

    Like

  26. Congrats on the win and thanks for the story, it made me laugh.

    Like

  27. Indira says:

    Hi Sandra! Congratulation first. I would like to read your winning story. In this FF, you made it more interesting in last line. Loved it. Wish you a Happy, healthy and successful New year.

    Like

  28. draliman says:

    Railway stations are great places to daydream, thought I question her subject matter 🙂
    Congratulations on the win!

    Like

  29. wildbilbo says:

    Brilliant – I did not see that coming. Nicely done.
    KT

    Like

  30. Sandra, congratulations! Your writing is always so excellent, so dynamic. No doubt your winning story is much deserving of the attention!

    Love this one. Clever and funny, but with a slight edge, as the reader wonders what exactly is happening. Just fantastic! Happy New Year to you and those you love. 2014 was infinitely better for me, with all of my FF friends alongside me. 🙂

    Like

  31. Oh Danny Boy says:

    I think he is serious. Choose the fat man! And congrats on your award!

    DJ

    Like

  32. pattisj says:

    Congratulations, Sandra! How exciting to win a competition! Love your header photo and the web. Enjoyed your story, poor girl!

    Like

  33. Ellespeth says:

    This is going to be happening sooner than we think so – we’d best get our odd little fantasies out of the way 😛 I enjoyed this piece, Sandra.
    I’m thinking about you the last few days.
    Ellespeth

    Like

  34. liz young says:

    That took me by surprise – excellent!

    Like

  35. Alice Audrey says:

    When fantasy meets reality. Can she kiss the guy with the gun instead?

    Like

  36. rgayer55 says:

    Outstanding, Sandra. I’m deeply emulous of your gift for writing.

    Like

  37. Amy Reese says:

    Ah, and the gun makes an appearance. A vicar with a monumental overbite. That’s great. Congratulations on your winning story! That’s wonderful, Sandra. What a way to start the new year.

    Like

  38. Judee says:

    You never disappoint, Sandra! Another twist to start the new year with a smile. 🙂 Always such a pleasure to read your work. Happy 2015!

    Like

  39. Dee says:

    I loved this Sandra. I was on that train! The imagery you painted was just perfect – the vicar with the ‘monumental overbite’ – I’m sure i know him. Brilliant writing.
    Congrats too on you win, I take Writing Magazine so will look out for your story.

    Dee

    Like

  40. i b arora says:

    nice story, happy new year

    Like

  41. Subroto says:

    Congratulations on your win. Tis was an enjoyable read. Easy to wipe the drool off…..or maybe provide the Vicar with a new topic for a sermon…..

    Like

  42. Nan Falkner says:

    Dear Sandra, Wonderful and creepy. You captured everything with this story. I’m scared and haven’t been on the L in years. Great job! Nan 🙂

    Like

  43. Honie Briggs says:

    Sandra, Congratulations on your win. Your story made me laugh. Thanks for that.

    Like

  44. Michael B. Fishman says:

    I loved this story, Sandra! These 100 words (I wish I would have thought of them!) are a great beginning for much longer story and if you ever write it I look forward to reading it!

    Like

  45. zennjennc says:

    This was a fun tale…great use of dialogue.

    Like

  46. Happy New Year, 2015, Sandra and Congratulations on the story being. Looks like the new year is of to a great start for you. Funny and creative story. 😀 Her daydreams have taken on a touch of reality. Welll done as always. 🙂 — Suzanne

    Like

  47. Pingback: The Essence of Character | elmowrites

  48. dunelight says:

    I am sure someone has told you already that that is the el train (elevated train…a subway elevated on tracks) in Chicago. That sign, 66, is the beginning of the famed Route 66. It is a touchstone of our popular culture. 🙂

    Like

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