“Put the cat out… feed the goldfish… dig the garden… tidy the tool-shed …”
And so it went on, like the endless drip, drip of a rusty tap.
But now the cat’s left home, and the goldfish float lifeless on the surface of the murky fish-tank.
The garden, however, is freshly dug, and the tool-shed immaculate.
Every spanner, every screwdriver hangs in order of descending size. Only one space remains – the one for the ten inch cross-head screwdriver.
He could retrieve the missing tool … restore symmetry.
But remembering the scene she’d made when he drove it into her neck, he’s disinclined to bother.
If you had to be trapped somewhere in rising floodwater, Sod’s Law would have it that it would be somewhere with a slow and intermittent internet connection. So be it… have patience with me, I’ll get back to you when I can. Rochelle is having a break this week, but since I have little else to do, I decided to submit something new for this prompt. It’s quicker than trying to locate the piece I did for this Friday Fictioneers’ prompt last time. 😦
Dear Sandra,
He’s a cold blooded one, isn’t he? The stark lack of emotion with which this is written evokes all kinds of emotion in the reader, ie me. 😉 Well done as always.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I’ve felt the need to “off” someone for a few weeks now. So I decided to indulge myself. 🙂 Have a good break Rochelle, and thanks for commenting. Missing you already.
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I’m only taking a break from writing this week. I’ll still be reading and commenting. .No need to miss me. You know where to find me. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I feel that one OCD living with another can lead to disasters… I really like the inner voice here.. as usual very good writing.
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Thank you Bjorn. It was a recipe for disaster from the start, I feel.
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Great story as always, Sandra. You “offed” her with style. The contrasts foreshadowed the end beautifully. That was frightening. I doubt he’ll get away with it, but I think he’s probably so mentally disturbed he hasn’t considered the outcome of his actions.— Suzanne
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I think you may be right Suzanne. I prefer my villains to be slightly off-balance. Thanks for dropping by.
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Ode to a nagging wife?
Powerful stuff!
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Shudder! ! ! ! The description of the screwdriver followed by the action was so powerful. Gave me chills.
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Dear Sandra,
Drip, drip, drip…. Nice tie in to the prompt and a delicious visit to the mind of a killer (author).
Aloha,
Doug
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Thank you for dropping by Doug. I appreciate your taking the time.
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Naggers, beware! Nicely done, Sandra, in an understated, terrible way. The words just flooded out of you, right? 🙂
janet
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Right! 🙂
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That’ll teach her! As soon as I read “freshly dug garden”, I knew you were up to no good again!
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You know me too well, Barbara. 🙂
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Ouch! And excellent title.
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classic! Good one!
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I’m a bit sorry for the goldfish… 😉 Great story, scary villain.
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Whoa! Vicious! I guess this guy doesn’t take kindly to being ordered about.
All my best,
Marie Gail
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What guy does? 🙂 Thanks Marie Gail.
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“Disinclined to bother” — Absolutely hilarious ending to a masterfully gruesome story. By the time I read “the garden was freshly dug,” I figured we had murder, but, in no way, was I ready for that ending.
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Thanks for reading Sandra.
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Ouf! You have a way with villains, for sure Sandra!
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Been a while since you’ve had a brutal murder. Was beginning to get concerned..lol. Good one.
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Yes, I was beginning to suffer deprivation symptoms. I’m much better now.
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Now that is dedication to order.
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Seems like he’s taken care of everything – no more cat, no more fish, no more wife, just missing one tool. Well done.
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All tidy and ship-shape then. 🙂
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great story. more importantly, in a twisted way, it gave me an idea what to write this week.
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I do what I can to help. 🙂
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This is really cool!
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All those drips drown him.
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Sandra, my danger sense went off when I read that the garden was freshly dug. I like the portrait of the man, who needs everything just in its place. Great story.
-David
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Thanks David. Glad you liked it.
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Great story. I am a tad worried about the cat though.
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Oh he went off to London with Dick Whittington… no problem there. 😉
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Chilling stuff, quite frightening how matter of fact he is.
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Thank you. He’s phlegmatic, that’s for sure.
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It just shows that without the nagger nothing gets done (apart from everything being in its place because he does nothing). Yes the cat had to leave home in order to be fed and the poor goldfish didn’t have that option so had no choice but to die. I fear that despite his current joy at his successful gardening that he too may soon join the dead or find another woman who will nag him to keep him alive. Great story.
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I suspect you’re over-thinking this, Irene. 🙂 🙂 Thank you for reading, glad you enjoyed it.
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Most likely but reading the comments I felt someone had to feel sorry for she underground. LOL
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Creepy and scary and oh so OCD. This guy makes a good villain!
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Ah ha – so that’s why the garden is freshly dug. You’re at your gruesome best again, Sandra.
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It’s like a drug to me…. 🙂
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Restoring symmetry shouldn’t be a problem for this guy so far as he has the right tools and no nagging wife. Great chilling story Sandra.
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Dear Sandra, Such a good story and restoring the symmetry would be okay if the Phillips screwdriver could be cleaned and sterilized. Excellent and devious. I guess he didn’t like the fish either.
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I see you’ve given this some thought, Nan. 🙂 Thanks for reading.
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Loved this! Way to kick-start the week; you’ve set the bar high.
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Thank you Kimberly. 🙂
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I suspect he will go purchase a replacement driver. You never know when you might need one.
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I’m never without one, Dawn. You never know when you’ll need to off someone.
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Very true 😉
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Loved it – black comedy gold.
KT
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Thank you!
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I trust he’s happy to cook his own dinner and iron his own shirts now, except for the one with bloodstains on it, of course! Not a good combination as a couple — fishwife and psycho. An excellent bit of black comedy, Sandra. You even succeeded in making me wince.
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Thank you Sarah. Sorry about that. 🙂
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I loved “disinclined to bother”. I guess if she’d “gone quietly” he’d have put the screwdriver back!
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Very good story, I enjoy reading black comedy!
I know this has already been written, but I really like the line “disinclined to bother”, that made me laugh. He sounds like an interesting villain and the title is fitting.
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I felt a chill with this one. Cold villain.
Tracey
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wonderfully poetic obsessively compulsive understated and dry murder.
I liked it in a wry and off-beat kind of way.
Stuck in my craw a little bit though.
Randy
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I suspect with his OCD and need for symmetry, “he’s disinclined to bother” masy not last for long. Unless, of course, he can purchase the exact same one on line. If the cat is in London, where shall he say his wife is?
Great story with a fancy twist at the end!
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Cold-blooded, unemotional, and orderly. Sounds like a sociopathic killer. Very well done, Sandra. So well-crafted.
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Wow! Your ending really took my breath away for a second. Powerful writing as always.
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I didn’t see that coming. I wonder if she did.
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Wow! Think I’d retrieve it if I were him.
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Excellent story as usual Sandra 🙂
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Well yuck, Sandra! This was great.
Ellespeth
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Very gruesome, Sandra. Your murderer and mine should get together. They’d have a lot in common.This was chilling.
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A flash establishing ‘order’ out of ‘chaos’… I thought. Enjoyed it! The twist at the end— not ready for!
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I didn’t see that coming.
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