…He Can Make You Cry… (Friday Fictioneers, June 2018)

Rochelle Wisoff Fields

He climbs from the bus, guitar slung across his back, baseball-cap back to front, a slow-mo rewind from seven years ago.

“Hi!”

“Hi, yourself.”

His gaze switches to the child by my side.

“Yours?” he says.

I nod

Ours, actually.

“She’s pretty… like you.”

She’s got your eyes.

“You weren’t waiting for me?”

I was, but not any longer.

“My husband,” I say, nodding at the bus that’s pulling in, “better go.”

He leans forward; I extend my hand, turning away.

Selina stumbles as she stares over her shoulder.

“Who was that, Mummy?”

“The guitar man, baby.  Daddy’s here now.”

 

And so I might as well share today’s ear-worm with you.  🙂  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpOjQvADLG4  Thanks to the leader of the Friday Fictioneers band, Rochelle Wisoff, for keeping us all in tune.

About Sandra

I cruise the French waterways with my husband four or five months a year, and write fiction and poetry. I love animals, F1 motor racing, French bread and my husband, though not necessarily in that order.
This entry was posted in Friday Fictioneers, Just Sayin'. Bookmark the permalink.

84 Responses to …He Can Make You Cry… (Friday Fictioneers, June 2018)

  1. neilmacdon says:

    I loved the conflict and the resolution in this

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Sue says:

    A good outcome – not like you, Sandra!!

    Like

  3. ceayr says:

    I guess something kept him drifting, miles and miles away…
    Beautifully crafted tale of then and now.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Are men with guitars ever reliable? Fall in love with them but marry the banker, I would say 😀

    Liked by 2 people

  5. pennygadd51 says:

    That’s a great little story, such lean sinewy prose! You highlight significant details with an unerring eye – the back to front baseball cap, ‘She’s got your eyes’ etc. And wonderful use of the title to set the whole tone of the piece, the sadness, the anger, the eventual calm wistfulness.
    Lovely, Sandra!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Dear Sandra,

    So much back story woven with her current story. Beautifully written. No surprise there.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

  7. Iain Kelly says:

    I wonder if he suspects at all, or if it is lost in the hazy past. Good to see that she has come out of the experience stronger.

    Like

  8. Well constructed story, Sandra. It was poignant, but at least she found a reliable man, so the story was uplifting too.

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

    Like

  9. She’s likely better off. Musicians might be great romantic figures, but as partners they’re not so hot. Well done

    Like

  10. granonine says:

    Tender, sentimental, and sad. Well done, as always.

    Like

  11. Lynn Love says:

    There are worse earworms! Wondering if the husband knows the little girl isn’t his and if he does, does he care? Lovely construction here, Sandra, you eke us the info at the perfect rate and keep us wondering whether she’ll say something, whether she’s there for him. Really good story

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Dale says:

    You do know how to tell a story, Sandra. So much said in so few words.
    Wonder if she ever even considered telling him way back when? Probably not…

    Like

  13. Aww certainly takes more than blood to be a father.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. I love this… so much told with so few words. The title is a great extra layer i think

    Like

  15. Lordy! I’d forgotten that song. How many times to we squelch those internal thoughts while wishing someone could read them?

    Like

  16. 4963andypop says:

    Very fluid and convincing back and forth both in words and in thoughts. But its a fragile kind of self -protection she chooses, since her daughter will one day grow up and want to know the truth.

    Like

  17. Such is life, I like how she has moved on, well I hope she has. Magical use of 100 words

    Like

  18. draliman says:

    Best that she kept quiet, she seems to be getting on with life. He doesn’t sound like he’d ever settle down.

    Like

  19. Liz Young says:

    I love the way you told two stories in the same minute.

    Like

  20. Joy Pixley says:

    So much story packed in there, of waiting and wishing and then moving on. I can imagine how she had imagined this moment for so long, what might she say if she did see him again, would she tell him or not — and then when it happens, out of nowhere, it’s over so fast, but well played, and now she has her answer.

    Like

  21. Things that might have been. Guitarists can be highly strung so I guess she made the right choice.

    Click to read my FriFic tale

    Like

  22. I tip my backward facing ballcap to you. Oh, the traveling musician, groupies, and one-night stands. I’m sure this has played out millions of times around the globe.

    Like

  23. StuHN says:

    Love “daddy’s here, now” line

    Like

  24. notestowomen says:

    Enjoyable story. I liked how she thought one thing and said something completely different. The guitar man belongs to her past–her future is with the man whom her daughter calls, “Daddy.”

    Like

  25. Ellie Scott says:

    There are so many layers here and it didn’t end quite as I expected to. Brilliant!

    Like

  26. The Guitar Man…this could be a beautiful ballad!

    Liked by 1 person

  27. lisarey1990 says:

    There’s so many layers to this story. Great job.

    Like

  28. Sarah Ann says:

    Wow, the hurt she still feels really packs a punch. Although she seems to have moved on, she clearly has stuff still to resolve. I wonder if guitar boy will remain completely oblivious to what he left behind. A great opening to make the reader think she’s waiting for him when she isn’t, but was and could be.

    Like

  29. There’s a wonderful sense of having had to let the excitement go for the boring but reliable. Regrets she cannot afford but has nonetheless.

    Liked by 1 person

  30. prior.. says:

    we were just talking about the “one that got away” phrase and this piece fits nicely into that – loved the ending – the guitar man….

    Like

  31. Dahlia says:

    One sensible woman! Very nicely crafted Sandra

    Like

  32. Very nice internal dialogue. She made the right decision. Your stories always contain many layers and you do it in so few words. Lovely story!

    Like

  33. plaridel says:

    i took courage to move on and bless her heart she did.

    Like

  34. Anita says:

    She answered all the “italics” ones in her head. The guitar man will never know the truth…
    Very realistic.
    This is a true story for so many!

    Like

  35. That was so well written. Loved the dialogue, and the conflict.

    Like

  36. Ah, the guitar man. He searches for this dreams and expects all of life to stay in one place for him. Well done, Sandra.

    Like

  37. Loved the internal dialogue. I feel torn though, I guess she had to move on. I also feel the child has a right to know her real father. Maybe when she’s older hey?

    Like

  38. Alice Audrey says:

    I once dated a guitar man. She’s better off with the bus driver.

    Like

  39. jillyfunnell says:

    Beautiful story. I am left with the notion that he can still make her cry but she has more control now, not to mention the support of a good man who deserves her.

    Like

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