The End of Summer (Friday Fictioneers, September 2012)

End of Summer

This week’s photo prompt for the Friday Fictioneers came courtesy of Piya Singh.

Such a beautiful summer…

I couldn’t believe it was true; he was total perfection, and incredibly wanted to be with me.

That day, we’d slithered down stone-flecked hillsides greased with September rains, to seek shelter in the ramshackle building.  The dusty air crackled with the tension between us as we lay side by side.

Afterwards he told me it couldn’t happen again; it felt wrong, I was too young.

Afterwards, right?

The wheel creaked rhythmically as the stream rushed beneath the mill, and his neck cracked loudly, when his head became trapped in the spokes.

Everything changed that day.

Including me.

About Sandra

I used to cruise the French waterways with my husband four or five months a year, and wrote fiction and poetry. Now I live on the beautiful Dorset coast, enjoying the luxury of being able to have a cat, cultivating an extensive garden and getting involved in the community. I still write fiction, but only when the spirit moves me - which isn't as often as before. I love animals, F1 motor racing, French bread and my husband, though not necessarily in that order.
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65 Responses to The End of Summer (Friday Fictioneers, September 2012)

  1. Dearest Sandra,

    Oh, How I laughed at the end of your story. From idyllic love to industrial accident to cautionary tale (for men). Will we ever learn? The answer, unfortunately, is no.

    I love the quiet reservoir of rage that fuels your writing. This was one of your best.




  2. Sandra says:

    My husband is edging nervously towards the door. 🙂 Thanks for commenting Doug, glad you liked it. Looking forward to yours.


  3. I didn’t see that one coming! 🙂 “Afterwards, right?” is perfect and I like this phrase…”we’d slithered down stone-flecked hillsides greased with September rains” a lot.


  4. claireful says:

    Hah! I really wasn’t expecting that – even as far as ‘his neck cracked loudly’ didn’t warn me enough to expect the next few words. Brilliantly told.


  5. Paul says:

    Ah, yes! The things we’ll say and do for a little “one-on-one” time. Not me, of course. But lots of other men. And no, we will never learn! Beautifully told. Pitch perfect.


  6. Andrew says:

    Talk about bait-and-switch! Fantastic!!


  7. As Dorothy said to the scarecrow: “I think I like you best of all.”


  8. He took her and she took revenge. She wasn’t so young after all. lol. Nice work. tks for visiting mine.


  9. What a wicked little tale, I thoroughly enjoyed it!


  10. stuff I said says:

    That was a wonder unexpected twist! Great story, enjoy it a lot.


  11. Tessa says:

    Oh he so deserved that! Great job!


  12. boomiebol says:

    I sure didn’t see that coming lol…very nice! Thanks always for stopping by mine


  13. raina says:

    Nice twist…


  14. billgncs says:

    yikes — air crackling with tension — good thing — neck crackling in spokes — bad thing.

    enjoyed it


  15. Linda says:

    Well, he should have been more sensible and not taken advantage shouldn’t he … I loved the ‘neck cracked loudly’ as I could just hear it in my mind. Brilliant 🙂


  16. Wow! I didn’t see that coming at all. Serves him right.


  17. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned…no matter how young. Well told, Sandra! Brilliant descriptions and plot with a twist Love it!


  18. vbholmes says:

    I like the contrast of the emotionalism in the beginning and the matter-of-fact tone “afterwards”. That young lady certainly grew up in a hurry….


  19. unspywriter says:

    Wonderfully done. A sweet tale with a great twist–just the kind of story I love.

    Here’s mine:


  20. Wow – I did *not* expect that! Powerfully told, Sandra, with a great voice – and I love the “stone-flecked hillside” phrase. 🙂
    Thanks for your comment on ours.


  21. ah, great alliteration and rhythm in that second paragraph Sandra. Also, I feel nervous.


    • Sandra says:

      Oh yes, it is a bit hissy isn’t it – oops there I go again. 🙂 Thanks for commenting and please don’t feel nervous, it just makes my characters more threatening. 🙂


  22. Jess Schira says:

    I love pro-active female characters, and yours is certainly doesn’t waste any times. He won’t make that mistake twice. Excellent job!


  23. ron pruitt says:

    Hi Sandra,
    Hell hath no fury . . . For a story that has such an idyllic start, it turns dark very quickly. You demonstrate your usual masterful ability at putting words together in a comely manner. Thanks for reading and commenting on my story. Ron


  24. Afterwards, right. Of course. “The dusty air crackled with the tension between us as we lay side by side.” I loved that. All is not perfect. And the ending, totally unexpected. I really enjoyed this!


  25. Oops! Oh, those little slips of the tongue! I love the details you include – slithering down the rainy hill, the dusty air, the creaking wheel. The cracking neck. (I do worry a bit about what sort of person the speaker found herself turning into…but at least she’s not the classic Victorian victim. 😉 )


  26. Trudy says:

    I’d hopped over from reading Claire Fuller’s romantic piece, straight into this! You really caught me by surprise, but gotta say, he kind of deserved it.
    Also, this description is beautiful : ‘stone-flecked hillsides greased with September rains’.


  27. rgayer55 says:

    Wasn’t too fond of the old, “love ’em and leave ’em” ideology was she? I agree with Doug. This is one of your best.


  28. flyoverhere says:

    Never underestimate the wrath of a woman scorned… nice job.


  29. Joyce says:

    Really sad. it all turned so bad. Poor bloke got caught in the spoke. Something about this little place seems to be bringing out the worst in our story characters, huh?


  30. Cindy Marsch says:

    Justice or revenge? Hmmm. Delightfully naughty. I, too, envisioned people scrambling down a hillside to get to this place. Well done.


  31. Mayumi-H says:

    Oh, love that “Afterwards, right?” line…! Almost good to see someone who’s heart isn’t broken by this one-time tryst. Well done, Sandra! 😀


  32. tollykit says:

    Nice work. Loved that twist.


  33. John Hardy Bell says:

    I didn’t expect that ending at all. But reading as many of your brilliant stories as I have, I should learn to expect anything! Great job!


  34. Sandra says:

    Thank you John, glad I can still surprise you. 😉


  35. Parul says:

    “Everything changed that day… Including Me”… A lot said in so few words!
    Good one!


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