“Please hurry.”
With trembling fingers I pocket the phone, hoping they’ll find me quickly.
The body lies half-covered by seaweed, but I can still hear the relentless drone of insects meandering through what is left of the head. I struggle to control my heaving stomach.
The legs are splayed awkwardly, one red shoe with a broken heel dangling drunkenly from an upturned foot. She must have tried to escape.
The stillness of the dawn is broken by distant sirens and I sigh, relieved.
Closer though, sand begins to whisper, seagrass rustles irritably in protest.
And behind me, ragged breathing…
Posting this as we cruise between locks, hoping the mobile connection will hold on as we disappear further into the French countryside. Friday Fictioneers time again, and thanks to Rochelle once more.
Oh that breathing.. run run.. but I guess that will only get that murderous policeman excited…
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Thanks for dropping by Bjorn.
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Dear Sandra,
I felt the panic rising in my own throat as I read. As always, your descriptions are vivid and your story well written as always.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks Rochelle. 🙂
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This line: “seagrass rustles irritably in protest” is great!
Nice work (as usual), Sandra.
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Thank you!
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Wonderful tension – from first word to last. And of course your forte, being able to keep everything tight and on edge. Word perfect description, like both you and kz do so well. A good read.
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Glad you liked it. 🙂
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Dear Sandra,
A piece part and parcel with the beauty of the prompt. Lyrical description, respite, and then….
You are truly a master at this craft.
Aloha,
Doug
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Thank you Doug! So glad to see you participating this week.
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‘What is left of the head’ – a punch in the stomach for your readers! And the ending is even more scary. Really well done Sandra.
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This is a recurring nightmare for me – that I come across the victim of violence and the perpetrator still lurks. I really must stop eating cheese at bedtime…
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Oh man, that’s when you look for a big piece of driftwood to swing. I hope the sirens get there before they have two bodies to recover.
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So do I! Thanks for reading.
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Beautiful descriptions and tight tight sentences. Sent shivers that last line!
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Thanks Jessie! 🙂
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Once again, Sandra, you got it down! Fine suspense and makes me want to read more. Poe would have been proud, Agatha, too. Bravo!
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Fine company there Kent! 😉 Thank for dropping by.
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Always a pleasure, Sandra!
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Well done, as always!
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Thank you. 🙂
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You made me look over my shoulder ……
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Take care… 😉
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YOU’RE SCARING ME, SANDRA!!! This was so good! “Seagrass rustles irritably”….each word so well chosen.
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Thank you! Look forward to your participating some time soon. 😉
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This is so full of adrenaline. Even to the end where if it was a movie I would gue a scream!.
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Thanks Kim! 🙂
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If there was going to be a dead body this week, I’m glad it was you that wrote it. As Doug said, you are a master at this. Honestly, the wrecked shopping cart made me thing of the lyrics to an old (not THAT old) U2 song “dressed up like a car crash, your wheels are turning, but you’re upside down.” I didn’t know how to write that without just cribbing the lyrics, so I went in another direction.
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I thought you surpassed yourself this week. Lovely!
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Sandra, Well-written story as always with vivid, realistic description. It reads like an episode of CSI Miami or New York. I felt like I was there alone with the corpse and in deadly danger.
Susan
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It doesn’t bear thinking about does it? 🙂
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You drag us lyrically through a variety of horrible emotions, Sandra. Perfectly crafted and executed as always. The punch of fear after the moment of relief is worse by contrast.
janet
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That’s what I was aiming for, pleased it seemed to work.
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Way creepy! I say run like the wind. (My lady wore red shoes, too!) Nicely written.
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Thanks for reading. 🙂
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Always.
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Love the description of the body….
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Not too graphic for you then…?
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Yikes! Great take on the photo this week, I’d love to hear what happens next!!
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Thanks for reading Rachel.
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Brilliant.
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Thank you!
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Ohh, loving the tension, I could almost hear the breathing myself 🙂
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Run then… 😉
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Sometimes I open five fictioneers stories in a row of tabs and I am not always sure of who I am reading until I scroll down to the comments. But the last line and I knew…Sandra..excellent, as always.
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Thank you Dawn, I appreciate your comment.
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Very scary! Time to run.
The vivid descriptions made it so real.
Zainab
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I think you’re right – a speedy exit might be called for.
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Okay. that scared me. Excellent. So well done. Lucy
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Thanks Lucy, sleep tight… 😉
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The chill is in the air, Sandra. Nice cliffhanger this week.
Cheers!
Marie Gail
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Thanks for dropping by Marie Gail. 🙂
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Fantastic story, Sandra. An amazing emotional rollercoaster ride in 100 words! From fear, horror, relief, to terror. Beautifully written.
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Thanks Karen, appreciate your comment.
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Ragged breathing? Run, protagonist, run! Very creepy and effective.
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Thanks Perry 🙂
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The tension builds with amazing imagery…and leaves us in utter suspense! Well done!
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I’d rather not dwell on what happens next… 🙂
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Ragged breathing? Run rabbit run….
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Thanks for reading.
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This gave me shivers and made my stomach wrench as well. The insects meandering through the head was gruesome, but very powerful. The suspense was nearly too much to handle!
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Nice bedtime reading… thanks for reading.
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The tension in this piece is chilling! Excellent, Sandra!
Hope your trip is divine. 😉
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Thanks Dawn 🙂
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I could feel the anticipation and panic. Nicely done, Sandra.
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Thank you Honie.
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Very tense, but after reading your description I’m not sure how much a paramedic would be able to help…
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It was the police I was thinking of… but I guess it looks like they’ll be too late to help too. 🙂
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i could only imagine what would happen next. 😦
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Thanks for reading 🙂
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I like the tension. Sounds like the body will soon be joined by another.
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Serial killing… hmmm 🙂
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Geez, she’s going to her doom. Lets hope the sirens would have gotten their in time. A well executed story (loved it!) 🙂
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Thanks for reading Victoria.
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Scary! Well told, lots of suspense. Enjoy your cruising Sandra. I’m off to our boat tomorrow to continue painting the interior. The hull is stripped of its old antifouling now and looks like a giant egg! Will we get it into the water this year? Maybe! Ann
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Thanks for dropping by Ann. Now get those sleeves rolled up… 🙂
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Stripping 30+ years of antifouling off the hull of a boat has to be the worst job in the world … but it’s done. 🙂
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Ominous to make me shiver, and I’ll be looking over my shoulder at every little noise for the rest of the day. So, good job! 😉
Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/rising-tides-are-what-they-are/
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Thanks for reading Maggie.
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A nasty ending. Spoiling our Fridays yet once again. Soooo good.
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Thanks Patrick.
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Loved the tension in this one, great writing especially ‘sand begins to whisper’- great line 🙂
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Thanks El 🙂
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Oh my, I can feel the tension. Run, please run!
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Thanks for reading.
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You paint a grisly scene here. And, it’s not over yet. Great details. I wanted to heave, too. Good one!
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Thanks Amy, have a good weekend.
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Good grief, this is horrible! Well done! 🙂
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Gruesome, I agree. 🙂
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Well, there is really nothing left for me to say after all of these very accurate acclamations. So I’ll just add that I must agree.
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Thank you Sandra. 🙂
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Love your new header photo.
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Thank you, just about time for a change now I think.
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And if I’m just now noticing it, just goes to show how long it’s been since I’ve been able to take part in Friday Fictioneers. Hopefully, my work life will settle down again, and I’ll be able to stick to the FF program more regularly again as a result.
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I hope that you have a bicycle, Sandra! If the coverage drops in a small commune or département, just forget us virtual folks and hop on it following the chemin de halage to the next lock! No relation to the story whatsoever, just friendly advice, Tay.
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Thank you!
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You did so much with your 100 words. I felt like I was right there and was terrified.
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Thanks. I’d hate to be in the MC’s shoes.
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Spine-tingling ending, particularly after the relief of hearing the sirens
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Thanks for reading. 🙂
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Hi Sandra, Wow! What a creepy, well written tale! You can hear the tension in the air – this is magnificent! Sandra, you are a master! Love it! Nan 🙂
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Thanks Nan!
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OMG …this is so creepy, scared the britches off me! A great write!
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That scary hey? 😦
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Pretty much dear…but then Psycho just about had me…I can take zombies or other supernatural creepies but ragged breathing will get me everytime.
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You capture the mood of desolation so well. I hope she unpockets the phone and wraps her fingers around it to sock it to the approaching heavy breather.
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🙂 Thanks for reading Sarah Ann.
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